Complaint Review: America On Line - Aol

Im sorry but you need to have a talk with your daughter, maybe watch the dateline series "to catch a predator" with her.
There is absolutely no way to keep a kid off the net.
True, Libraries make a child have a signed permission slip from a parent to get online BUT what's to say they don't sit with a friend who does have permission and access it that way.
I see it every time i go to the library.

As for Lorraine's comment that schools block chatting sites, it isn't that simple, I have several teens, sure the school blocks yahoo & myspace, so the kids get on bebo, zanga, nubonyx, which the school doesn't know to block, and once they block those the kids find another one!

My kids have full access to the net, but as a parent it is MY responsibility to educate them, monitor them and if need be punish them.
I check the history files, turn on the message archiving in yahoo, and read the inane comments on all their social networking pages.


Something that hasn't been mentioned is the fact that your daughter committed an illegal act of FRAUD when creating this account and billing it to someone else!
By you taking up for her and glossing over the illegal act and reporting AOL as the rip-off, you are ensuring your daughter that her actions have no consequences.
You are lucky that AOL isn't having her arrested, but then maybe that would be a blessing!

Steve, we aren't talking about an older teen, this girl is 13 and she's already flirting with older men online! Would you let her go anywhere with a computer when she's not at school and take the risk of her being used and abused by some perv she met online, or would you keep her at home until you are certain she understands the danger she's putting herself in?

Schools don't leave chat ports open the majority of the time, as a way to protect children. The same for the computers for younger kids at libraries. If yours aren't this way, I'd be asking why not?

This leaves friends, family and home, that more than likely do have all ports open for telnet and chat if the parents don't know how to confire a firewall or router. These are 2 of the ways kids use to get to other people, along with the newly popular blogs / forums with their attatched chat clients.

Those child protection programs rarely work. I've seen the kids online thru the years crack them in 30 seconds. They pass on such learned knowledge to other kids online. Parents must learn enough about computers to protect young children or limit access until they are old enough to not be taken in by the bad people online. If the parents don't give in to the child's whining and complaining at first, this can be done and they will stay safe.

Go ahead and try to keep a kid from going online. Do you know that most/all local libraries and public schools have internet access? We even have access in our small town of less than 1800 at our library and schools. Should the kid be grounded from going anywhere? This is reality and it's up to the parent to teach right from wrong. When all is said and done, it's up to the kid to choose right from wrong.

Jennifer, I'm sure you are a good parent but kids will try to do as they please. I know they will, my kids try to do it as I did when I was a kid. You know that kids will try to think they are right, it's just the way we all were at one time.

Jennifer, if someone has given your daughter their login and password to their AOL account, you will be unable to stop her from getting online from any computer with a modem, if she doesn't listen to your advice, any time she is near one.

A dial up internet account is not tied to a phone number. The person gets a login name, a password and phone number from the ISP that they can use with ANY computer with a modem to access the internet.

If your daughter will not obey your wishes, then you need to make sure that the places she goes do not have computers with a modem/online access. If she is already doing this at such a young age, you need to get it stopped pronto.

Have you sat down with her and explained there are bad, as well as good people on the internet? Is she aware that older men that are attracted to young girls will gladly give her an account to use so they can talk to her? Have you told her what could happen (and has happened to many young ladies) if she would allow them to talk her into meeting them in person? This is not something that will go away, chat is very addictive to kids and they don't usually have the life experience to know how much harm could come to them.

Don't wait until she makes a wrong decision and your whole family pays the price. Talk to her openly and honestly. Show her news articles about girls and boys who have been hurt by online preditors. She may think it won't happen to her, but if she's doing the things you claim, she's opening herself up to be used and abused by these bad people online. The type of chats she's visiting pretty much shows her interests. There are tons of family oriented and friendly chats online, but there are also bad ones. It's up to the user to decide which ones to enter. No one is dragging them in there.

I'm guessing by the way you wrote your report and update that you don't have much experience on the internet yourself. This is something you need to work on, so you can better understand how to help her. AOL doesn't know who's good or bad when they call and set up an account. Your daughter is the one breaking your rules and you need to talk to her. Ban her from going anywhere that has internet access, ground her, whatever it takes, until she understands what she's been doing is wrong.

I can't get AOL where I live, but I know friends and family that have had AOL and they hate it. I've used it at a friends house one time and it is a joke!

My mom and friends tried to cancel thier account with AOL and it was nothing but a run-around. It took my mom 15 minutes to get it through to them that she wanted to cancel the account. She finally had to threaten them with legal action before they finally complied.

My kids are on the internet alot. I can not sit over thier shoulder everytime they are on it. I check in on what they are doing, but I also trust them to know what's appropiate and what's not. I don't trust some of the people that are online, but I do trust my kids to make the right decision.

This child was left with a relative, and she accessed the internet on a computer that did not even have a I.S.P. I know how to keep a eye on what my child is doing. AOL left here set up an account in her name using someone elses phone number and billed it to someone else. If AOL can't provide a safe service for anyone who can access their site they should not provide this service at all!!!!!!!! We superise our children at home ,but we can't watch them all the time.

AOL will not be helpful, they will simply insist monitoring your child's computer use is your responsibility.

If you are unable to monitor the use at all times there are solutions. There are many commercial programs available known as "keystroke loggers". Keystroke loggers are software that can log emails sent, passwords entered, websites visited, private chat conversations, file inputs, and much more. All keystrokes logged are logged to a secret file for later review. This is done without the knowledge of the user.

While this is an option, with a teenager once you confront her with the evidence you have been monitoring what she will consider "private matters" be ready for an argument. That being said, you are the parent, the decision is yours not hers. You should do whatever is needed to protect your child.

The horse is out, so closing the barn door is no longer an option.
(But warning others is still good.)

You can use the opportunity to talk to your daughter about online safety. Have a conversation about moving forward from this point -- "these are things you must not do again" -- rather than punishing her for what's done.

We have a friend whose 16 year old daughter chats online with friends. Attempts by her mother to control her completely aren't effective. The internet is everywhere. Even if you rip out the phone line at home, there are internet connections everywhere. Open dialogue is the only way here.

In my friend's daughter's case, my opinion is that it is because of the domineering nature of the mother that pushes the daughter to look for companionship online. Restricting outings with school friends (and even church groups!) reduces the chances to socialize. It's in people's nature to socialize. Life will find a way.

As for the AOL chat, there may be a log on your computer, if you can find a way into it.

I'm just curious and thought I'd ask -

1. What is your daughter doing using the computer unattended? I have my computer in the living room and the kids are only allowed on it when I am in there and can observe what they do. I also have a parental control program that will not allow the children to access the internet unless a password is entered.

2. Why would you expect AOL to give you any information about passwords or who your daughter is talking to? I don't know if they keep records of conversations or not but I wouldn't expect AOL to be a baby-sitter for my kids.

I don't disagree that there are a number of providers and such out there that allow kids of any age to access web sites and chat rooms that are grossly inappropriate however I think it is up to the adults in the children's lives to police our kids internet use.