Complaint Review: CARRIBEAN CRUISE LINES INSIDER

Well it was a trip alright that's for sure. Boarded our vessel, paid our additional crap and retired to our "stately" room. LOL. We laughed as we took our showers to stay cool and pretty much stayed undressed with the cool foul shower running and door cracked and it somehow created a breeze. We were indeed shy at first but with nothing to see but billowing clouds of charcoal exhaust from this old tug, well we just rode it out and reached our destination. Hmmm another fee to get of the booze cruise. Anywho we both agreed the best part was just chilling in our birthday suits and watching my wife do yoga as 100s of people passed by or stopped and gawked. She is a looker at 5'4 and 123 lbs and still pointing high at 32 years old. I must admit that Alverez our room guy became quite a friend and spent many hours just talking to us. Well he admitted that Jeri was a stunning lady and that we were cool to hang with and not as angry as most. Alverez or Rez as we called him I hope you are doing well and that your tour of duty will be over and allow you to see Santina and Alvy soon. We know you miss your family and how sickened you are by these fat slobs lining up for the 3 all you can eat treats everyday. It is indeed a wonder Rez that we live a healthy life acting as swine. So glad we took your advise and stuck with your personal recommendations and retrieval of our food. Yes Rez the more simple the better and your welcome for the gratitude we showed for the gratitude you gave although discouraged and against the rules please slip your person a $50. They only make $8 a day and will treat you like a rock star. I loved the tour of that huge old motor which no one else got to see and the desalination system. Other than Rez and I watching Jeri in a 45 min feet together and elbow out yoga poise or the amazing upside down and oh so right monkey? Poise, who cares it was fabulous.
 
And btw there is one suite on the old tug that is about 1500 sq feet and only given to the quarterly top producers manager and stays empty 2 and a Hal months per quarter. We stayed in there and partied like rock stars with Alvy, Sanchez, Yosieta, Beverly, and the Crazy Francine sisters for 2 nights! Nothing obnoxious but it was clothes free and all kept to themselves and it was awesome. These fine people needed the vacation more than we did anyway, and yes Jerri is a true blonde but a lawyer ! And we were glad everyone enjoyed looking at my fair skinned, six packed lol bomb shell, and you ladies are so beautiful as well and Jerri said well i cant say but she told me to tell you Sanchez that you should never wear shorts of any kind not even bahama shorts because you would surly be arrested! AND and booze WAS free thanks to the booze confiscated from passengers that just would have been tossed or taken by the officers. Go Johnny Blue Label! $175 a bottle at home but free on ye ole tug! PRICELESS !

So was our 3 day ordeal worth the $306 plus about $150 in good common manners as gratuities and not given to the boat to give out in there asinine system, OH YES IT 'TWAS. Are we going back, probably. Are we going to cruise another ship? Yes. What did we learn? Yoga and a door opened about 7" will get you the Trump treatment while the chumps are just fussing the whole time. We could not tell you anything about ole Betty Lou (boat) and proud of it. Rez don't forget the "Lil man on the boat" has the most authority". Rock on crew! And names were so changed to protect our slave labor friends. Thanks folks. Oh the company, I guess they stink. Ask for the Estate Room and watch a Stewart's face flush red. At the top, beyond the last floor you can't see and you need a key. Right above the helm with a nice row of lifeboats acting as privacy fence. Lock it up and throw away the key. So make lemonade out if lemons people. Don't be a tool. Use your noodle, be polite, and just because your American it does not give you privilege. What does? Courtesy, honesty, non judgement and a natural blonde ;) All you can eat...there is more to life. Fine Cubans smoked on the huge tropical deck and beautiful people being free and having fun and not silly comedy shows. Quit complaining and if in a situation unfitting well just fix it through wit and kindness.