Complaint Review: Centurylink

I would like to add to the already numerous Centurylink complaints on this site.  Based on what I have read since my experience, others have had similar experiences.  I live in an area that actually has options for internet providers, so in my experience so far, I can't tell you how much I regret choosing Centurylink.

I originally signed up for them and had my promotional pricing for the first 6 months.  I put a note in my phone to downgrade once those 6 months were up so I would not be paying for faster internet than I really need.  So I call them up a few days before to change my service to a slower speed.  They say, oh you don't need to do that, I can keep you at the promotional rate at the same speed.  I'll just send you a new modem and you can send the old one back.

I say OK and in a week or so I have a new modem in the mail, so I pack up the old one and send it back.  Happy internetting for several months flies by.

Then I get my first bill collections notice, for $108.20.

So I call up the bill collector and they tell me Centurylink has an outstanding bill on their end, that they can't do anything until they cancel the bill.  So I call Centurylink.  Half a dozen people, a few grey hairs, and an hour and a half later, they figure out that the bill for $108.20 is for the old account that they hadn't received the modem for.  I told them I sent it in and they said, oh, no problem then we can cancel the bill and you won't hear from the bill collectors anymore.  Happy internetting for several months flies by.

Then I get my second bill collections notice, but from a different collector, for $108.20.

Now, keep in mind I sent the modem back many months ago.  Probably 9 months ago at this point.  I even put it in the original packaging (because I keep that sort of thing) and put it all neatly back the exact same way it came.  (What I didn't do is keep the receipt or tracking number - BIG MISTAKE PEOPLE.)  So I call Centurylink to sort it out.

I get disconnected on the first call - only 15 minutes into it.  I spoke to 3 or 4 "raviolis" (as a kid I was taught not to call people bad names) and then when I got connected to the first person who could do anything, all I heard was "Hello?...Is anyone there?...Hello?...I don't hear anything is someone there?..."  All was fine on my end (not on mute, all headsets and handsets work fine) and after about 30 seconds of this, this ravioli hangs up.

I make a second call, this one lasts an hour.  I speak to another half dozen raviolis, repeating my case, and I get told the same thing.  They all "try" to track down whether or not the modem I sent them arrived.  They all say there is no record of it arriving and ask me for the tracking number.  Again, I sent this thing 9 months ago, I don't have the tracking number.  They all wholeheartedly say they believe me, but without a tracking number they can't do anything about it.  

When I finally get someone who is willing to work with me, he offers me $10 off my bill for a year, so $120 "savings".  I put up a fight about this for numerous reasons, but eventually give in.  As soon as I say the words "OK let's do $10 off for the year", the call fails.  AFTER AN HOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THESE *&#$#@* RAVIOLIS.

Just a quick recap - THEY sent me the return label.  They also charged me $15 shipping to send the new modem out (but here is another interesting thing - UPS can track things without a tracking number IF you paid for it yourself... well I paid for it myself but Centurylink charged me for shipping, not UPS, so UPS can't do a thing), and conveniently have no record of receiving it.

So I have to call and explain myself AGAIN.  Conveniently, the previous ravioli had actually applied the discount on the account, but this actually makes me even more mad (anything would make me more mad with these people) because it means he hung up as soon as he got verbal, recorded confirmation from me.  I call again and the Centurylink robot lady says "system is down, sorry for the inconvenience, goodbye" and hangs up.

At best, Centurylink is a bunch of imbeciles dysfunctionally working in unison to anti-harmonize the internet-purchasing experience.  Picture Guy Fawkes with an IQ of 6.  At worst, and what I believe to be closer to the truth, Centurylink is systematically out-thinking consumers in increasingly devious and insidious ways, cloaking themselves in customer service and helpfulness in order to gouge your wallet and your dignity.

Buyer beware.  They are crooks.  Don't trust anything they say.

BONUS INFO!!!

When I originally switched modems/plans at their behest, the customer service ravioli told me that my price was now good for 5 years, contract free.  I silently rejoiced and happily surfed the net until several months go by and my price goes up.  When I call the raviolis about it they say my promo period was up, I said it wasn't a promo period, the guy said it was good for 5 years.  "Oh no we don't lock in any pricing for 5 years unless you bundle, do you want to bundle?"  No I don't want to bundle I just want internet.  "OK well since you don't want to bundle, I can give you that price but you have to sign a contract for 2 years."  While I was already feeling screwed, I gave in and committed to two years, figuring hey everywhere I want to live in the next 2 years is in their territory.  And when I called up about this most recent issue detailed above, their records show that my contract is up in far less than 2 years.  These people are f*cked.

MORE BONUS INFO!!

One of the last people I talked to was a 20-something girl.  I think they put the 20-something girls on to try to flirt with and cheer up the people who have already talked to a dozen feces-filled raviolis.  She actually admitted that before she worked for Centurylink, she had the same issue with them "losing" the modem that she sent back to them.  How convenient, she was able to fix her issue but not mine.