Ken Simmons Chief Operating Officer HACLA Housing Authority of the City of Los Angeles Ken Simmons Birthday Party Was a Fiasco and Waste of Tax Dollars Estrada Courts, California
Now that Patrice McConnell, David Esparaza and Scott Butler have been fired, you would think that things would calm down around this circus, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"Kinky" Ken Simmons, our crooked cross dressing Chief Operating Officer decided to throw himself a birthday party. Kenny is universally hated by everyone on the staff but hey its FREE FOOD, why not?
Kenny scheduled his little party to take place after the Board of Commissioners meeting in the board room. I don't know if he charged the food and drinks on his HACLA credit card like last time and I don't really care. My complaint is with his choice of "refreshments".
He had a giant punch bowl filled with punch. I don't know if the punch was any good because Doug Guthrie took it upon himself to spike it with a fifth of cheap gin. Things went from bad to worse when Peter Lynn goose-stepped into the room wearing a full World War II German SS Uniform. When confronted, he sheepishly said that he thought it was a costume party. Just about this time Sanford Riggs wandered in, picked up a giant tray of cookies and walked out with them saying, "Yummy!"
Of course Luceila Hooper was there.
That fat cow can smell free food 100 miles away. The worst part is she now has one of those scooters you see advertised on TV. She knocked over a table and 3 chairs as she swooped in and gobbled down a whole giant bag of Cheetos in one swallow. You KNOW Medicare paid for that d**n scooter. She has been on every form of welfare available since she was hatched in 1929. And another thing; you would think shed control her flatulence in front of people, but I guess she thinks everyone enjoys smelling her gas as much as she does.
As I looked around the room, I saw Mitch Kamin and Joe Preibe in the corner looking thoroughly disgusted. I overheard Kamin say, "At least he's wearing a suit" and Prebe replied, "Yeah, but the eye shadow is a little much. He sure is an ugly DQ!" As usual Nancy Weshoff started off with her Hebrew s**t, demanding to know why the food wasn't Kosher certified. When she spotted Peter Lynn, she shut up real quick and made a hasty departure.
Now comes the reason for my complaint. When Simmons unveiled his birthday cake, it was in the shape of a GIANT p***s! We were all in shock! It was disgusting! Simmons announced to the stunned crowd that the cake was an exact replica of his own c**k. This is when Eric Brown smiled and said, "It sure is! I hope its half as tasty as the real thing!" -
That's when the mad dash to the exit doors started! The poor security guards didn't know what the hell to do as over 200 people were trying to escape the board room at the same time. Luckily there were only minor injuries.
I can only hope the board puts out a memo banning birthday parties on HACLA property in the future.
5 Updates & Rebuttals
Hugh G Rekshon
Los Angeles,California,
United States of America
Well... you got me...
#6REBUTTAL Individual responds
Fri, July 27, 2012
The first thing I want to say is that I am deeply offended at the comments made by the Author. I have fully admitted to my Homosexuality and my cross dressing. Every one accepts it except for THIS guy. I sure wish that I knew who this person was. I had to change my name to Hugh G Rekshon because everyone was looking for Mr. "Kinky" Ken Simmons. I think that this might be the guy that walked up to me in Echo Park and said "Under the moonlight with the quacking ducks, you look like Deana Durbin". Then I said: "Hey, I look BETTER than Deana Durbin!"
When I find out who exposed me on my work activities here, Mister... I am going to take YOU into the board for a little informal hearing! You obviously have a bad attitude towards the Homosexual community. I have lived an honest life since my "coming out" party that was "crashed" by Anita Bryant. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HAATE IT!
Jim Webb Bail Bonds
Hooterville,Maryland,
USA
I Took A Picture But ROR Censored It.
#6UPDATE Employee
Thu, July 12, 2012
I took a photo of the offending cake with my cellphone but Rip Off Report wouldn't let me post it. It was too disgusting even for ROR! What does THAT tell you about the cake?!?!?!
By the way - Lucelia Hooper ran over my foot with that d**n scooter she has and spilled her bottle of Thunderbird and it ate a hole in my pants. Can I sue? Aside from the cake and Peter Lynn's "costume" another interesting thing I witnessed was Miss Hooper drinking her bottle of bum wine with a straw.
KEEP IT CLASSY HACLA!
The Good Rabbi
Los Angeles,California,
USA
Even More Malfeasance and Waste by Kinky Ken and His Band of Nincompoops
#6UPDATE Employee
Wed, July 11, 2012
Through this reply, I intend to serve as a facilitator who will help you draw your own conclusions about Mr. Kinky Ken Simmons. That is, I'll be your "guide on the side", not a "sage on the stage". With my assistance, you'll soon gain a deep understanding of how Kinky Ken's positions have led to date rape, domestic violence, pornography, and other social ills. In the text that follows, I won't bother discussing the flaws in Kinky Ken's logic because he obviously doesn't use any logic. Many the things I've talked about in this response are obvious. We all know they're true. But still it's necessary for us to say them because the elasticity of Mr. Kinky Ken Simmons's interpretation of the Bible shields him from having to take a stand for anything morally correct yet politically (spiritually?) unpopular.
Howie Felterbush
Funky Town,California,
USA
Did Anyone Take a Picture of the Cake?
#6UPDATE Employee
Wed, July 11, 2012
I heard about this "Birthday Party" but didn't actually witness it. Does anyone have a photo of the cake? Those of us out here in Van Nuys really want to know if the p***s cake actually exists.
Sarkis
Nickerson Gardens,California,
USA
The Poster Didn't Tell The Truth
#6UPDATE Employee
Wed, July 11, 2012
First of all the comment that nobody was injured in the rush to escape the party featuring a giant frosted p***s is a LIE. I know for a fact that at least 2 people were transported by LAFD paramedics to Good Samaritan Hospital after being trampled by the mob of frightened employees fleeing the board room.
As usual the security guards in the lobby didn't do Jack s**t to help. I thought it was very UNPROFESSIONAL for them to laugh at us during the mass exodus.
It is also common knowledge that the Simmons "birthday party" was personally approved by Commissioners Margarita Garr and Dennis Hernandez in advance. I would love to know how much that perverted looking cake cost. Judging from how big is was, I'm willing to bet it was at least $175. Simmons is such a cheap b*****d with his own money (except for his evening gowns) that I KNOW he had HACA pay for the cake. I hope someone does an investigation on this just to see how much money was spent on this fiasco.
Also - there was a lot more alcohol being consumed than that crappy gin soaked "punch" they tried to give us. When I left work that night I saw the janitors wheeling out a dumpster full of empty bottles of Thunderbird, Night Train and Cisco wine from the first floor.
HACLA management should be ashamed of themselves.