Complaint Review: Michigan Renaissance Festival

This all happened in the Summertime of 2008, when I joined my sister-in-law and her three YOUNG children on their trip to the Michigan Renaissance Festival in Holly.  I had never been before, even though I literally live just up the road in Grand Blanc. 

I was actually really excited, because until my kids were big enough, I just couldn't imagine hauling infants and toddlers to such a huge event (although many, many parents seem to.)  Anyway, with literally a van full of kids, we took the drive over. First, it took FOR-EV-ER to get parked. I mean, come on guys, ever heard of "capacity reached"? No, no, they literally had us packed into the back, back lot (even though it was clear we had kids with us) and the lot monkeys had us so close to one another that it was next to impossible to open doors without dinging the other cars around us. But I digress. After what was a harrowing situation just getting PARKED, we learned that it was literally a MILE walk to the entrance.  Yes, people, A FULL MILE. That said, you can only imagine how tired a small child would be before even getting inside. So, with already tired and impatient kids in-tow, we stood in line for AN HOUR, yes, an HOUR, to get tickets. They had around ten windows open and only three took credit cards, so you can only imagine.  But I digress. 

By the way, they charge for kids under five.  Ever heard of ANYPLACE, even a nice sit-down restaurant, charging FULL PRICE, for kids? Seriously- it cost us about $200 just to get in the door. No group discounts, no "hey, we can hook you nice folks up with a deal" - NOTHING.  But yet again, I digress. So after about a 2 hour process, we are FINALLY inside. 

On the whole, the place was neat and had great 'atmosphere' but ONE of the issues is that they let WAY too many creeps and weirdos into this place (not to mention the ones working for them - more on that in a bit.) What I mean is, women with nothing more than metal bikinis on (nothing underneath, no bra, panties, etc. Great if you are asking to get raped in the woods) not to mention the HUGE biker gang that was clustered right outside the gate - I mean, really, people? GANGS? Family show my a*s - but I digress. So somehow it's  now ok for them to flaunt the law on indecent exposure all on the basis that it's a "festival?" GIVE ME A BREAK! No children need to see a woman's privates hanging out!  And before you pervs get all excited, these are not young things in their 20's - they are OLD AND FAT women who dressed like this!

So after a long day and several $5 bottles of generic water later, we decided it was high time to hit the road. The place was SO jam packed that it was next to impossible to move without being stuck shoulders-deep in a crowd. It took us about an hour to get back to the entrance.  Oh yea, did I fail to mention, that there is ONLY ONE exit? Really? Ever heard of fire hazard?!  The place is a disaster waiting to happen.  So on our way out of the place, a girl in a green dress and black hat comes barreling out of some side door inside the festival, SCREAMING bloody murder, sewaring, dropping the f-bomb like nothing.  ALL IN FRONT OF OUR KIDS!  On top of her insane behavior, she was barreling through the crowd like a steamroller and d**n near knocked my son to the ground with her gigantic skirt! No "oops, I'm sorry" no NOTHING.  Just kept RIGHT ON GOING.

Me and my sister-in-law just stood there, jaws dropped, completely blown away.  Well, after this, we were bound and determined to FIND someone - ANYONE, to report this b***h to.  After what seemed like a blatant attempt on the part of the other workers to derail us, we eventually got to the information booth where we were informed that the young 'lady' in question was indeed a "cast member" and that the situaiton would be 'dealt with.' 

After several months of contemplation, I eventually wrote these jokers a letter about what I just described. I honestly didn't want any compensation (and especially not a "oh, well, we're sorry, but these things happen" kind of BS apology phone call, either.)  Well, in 2011, my younger sister's work gets free tickets and she and her kids were going - BINGO, you got it - she asked me to go.  I can tell you what, I'd NEVER PAY to get into that place so had she not gotten the tickets for FREE, I'd never go back. So, she convinces me that the girl HAD to be long gone by now, and that she knew people who worked there, and that she'd check it out for me before we went.  Well, her search turned up nothing.  GREAT, so we went.  LO AND BEHOLD, the parade goes by and there is the SAME girl, different outfit, this time bright a*s orange (looked like a giant PUMPKIN) but I could tell it was HER - black hair, pasty face.

THEY STILL HAVE THE GIRL ON THE PAYROLL!  After causing a PUBLIC racket, swearing, and putting my son's welfare in jeopardy, these jokers still employ her!  I just could not believe my eyes.  Well, I told my sister that, guess what, I am SO out of here.  Thank GOD we took separate car this time!  What event, in their right minds, would have this gal working for them, when they could plainly get sued for it? Like I said, this place bills itself as a 'family show' but it CLEARLY is not.