New York State Family Court, Child Support Collection Unit, Child Support Laws Of New York State...men be afraid..be very,very afraid!! Geneseo New York
I am a married man, with a beautiful wife, and 2 wonderful kids. Unfortunately, my 17 year old daughter lives with her mother. We were young when she was conceived, but she was a blessing none the less. As parents,we both were wonderful. As partners, not so good. I drank too much, and she "wandered" too much. She left me when our daughter was 3 1/2 years old. I caught her with another guy and it got ugly. Finally, it was really over.
She left me and moved from Arizona back to New York, taking our daughter with her. This was July,1993 and I stayed in Arizona, fully intending to move back to New York as soon as I could. My ex became pregnant by another man within the year. You can imagine the feelings this might create. I found it difficult to even consider moving back to NYS. I maintained diligent and frequent contact with my daughter, even creating a nice phone relationship with the grandmother of my ex's soon to be husband.
After the birth of my daughter's sister, I was slowly but surely being phased out of her life. No presents allowed, no communication. My own mother actually had to go to family court to gain visitation rights. Once I changed jobs, in July 1996, my wage garnishments stopped through my old employer in Arizona, and I did not pay support for several years. While I now know that was the wrong thing to do, what was done was done.
I moved back to New York in July,1998. I knew I had to catch up arrears support, which I did willingly. We made arrangements for current support as well as the past amounts. I really thought my daughters mother and I had gone back to being civil. I met a wonderful woman who loves my daughter very much. We married in 2003, and had a son the following year. Also went on to buy a home, which seems to be where my current nightmare began!
I was served papers in October,2006, that stated even though I had paid $8500 of my $8500 arrears, the interest that had accrued made me liable for $5600 in interest! You can imagine the feelings that THIS evoked. I was coerced into paying a compromised, lump sum of $3600 to make the arrears finally, officially go away. I handed her a check on Dec. 15,2006 for $3600. A week before Christmas. I can tell you it was not easy, but I thought this would make everything better. Man was I wrong!.
I received a letter from NYS Livingston county Family Court, saying I was being taken back to court for a COLA hearing. Even though her attorney( who is also her employer) stated that $3600 would keep us from going to court, I was taken back and I went from paying $72 a week to $177 a week. Plus I was once again put in the hole because the adjustment was retroactive, again putting me behind a hefty sum. I am currently having $202 taken weekly from my check. Automatic garnishment. Punishment for having had a child out of wedlock.
The set percentages in New York are biased and unfair! I firmly believe they border on unconstitutional! I am made to work like a slave, only to have my wages forcibly garnished by the government. Sound like a slap in the face of the 13th amendment? You better belive it is.
New York requires a flat 17% of your gross income to support 1 child. When I questioned the needs of my other child, the one who depends on me and only me for sustinence, I am told "he doesn't count in the decision". What????
I could see if my daughter were in a destitute situation, with no one else but me to provide for her. She would most certainly be living with me, and I would not ask a dime of her mother. But she is not. As a matter of fact, for 2006, my household gross income was $64,000, while the income at the other house almost $100,000. Is this common in New York? From the mouth of my daughter's step father: " We will get as much as we can, for as long as we can, and I don't really care about you or you household" A verbatum statement.
Meanwhile, I cut out my retirement plan contributions, cut out cable package, eating a lot of pasta dishes, and I still struggle to meet my mortgage obligation. At the other house, new vehicles,vacations, day trips, are all the norm. Do you think my increase in support has anything to do with that? Darn tootin!
I promise you, if not for me, for all the other unfairly treated dads out there, I will make enough noise to make things change! I feel like the family courts and child support collection agencies exist simply to provide employment! New York State is the largest emploer in New York State, so this is all being done with OUR TAX DOLLARS!!! Enough big government sticking their noise in all our business. I vow to fight till I die for equality. I will not rest until parents are equally responsible for a child's support, and men are not treated like a meal ticket.
Buddyholly4863
leroy, New York
U.S.A.
9 Updates & Rebuttals
scchristianafvet
Easley,South Carolina,
USA
NEW YORK STATE CHILD SUPPORT
#10Consumer Comment
Thu, October 29, 2009
In 2001 I was living in Fort Plain,NY with my then wife. Also living with us were her four sons from a previous marriage. I was arrested on a mesdemeanor charge. My wife dropped the boys with her ex husbands parents and fled the state. As the grandparents were elderly and retired they filed for public assistance to care for the boys. The State Of New York filed for child support against me,the nonadoptive stepparent. They filed this before filing against either biological parent. I did a short time in jail and fought the child support order. I ended up paying over $2000.00 in support for four children I have no biological nor legal relationship to.
I am 1000% in favor of biological parents paying support but to force me to pay support for four children not mine was truly unjust.
Rlayton108
Jacksonville,Florida,
U.S.A.
more nys court/ child support problems
#10Consumer Comment
Tue, June 09, 2009
i totally agree with the nys family court systems being rediculous. the mother of my 2yr old broke up 2 months after my daughter was born because she came home trashed and ended up hitting my daughter in the face while trying to attack me. i immediatly left and filed a police report and moved out that night. since then its been a night mare in family court. she has been arrested numerous times for commiting criminal acts, has spent time in jail for her crimes and still the courts favor her. She has since made my life a living hell because i choose not to be with her, and refused to let me see my daughter for the 1st year of her life. So me being sick of that and all the harassing txts emails phone calls etc. took her to family court for visitation. I brought a lawyer with all the police reports, emails phone records any document pertaining to her past violence issues and ofcourse since its nys i was the one who was givin supervised visitation. i was very unhappy about this because i have never been in trouble with the law havent even gotten a speeding ticket but because i am 23 and she is 27 she made it look like i was the bad person in court and that i am the one with issues. Not only this she lives with her father is on public assistance food stamps cash assistance medicaid the whole 9 yards even though her father makes over 50k a year and also has a child with someone else and does not receive any help what so ever from that father but she claims that shes takin him to court for child support but "they cant find him". but ofcourse after 6 months of me paying for this stupid supervised visitation which i didnt think i should have been a victim of in the first place, then explaining to my boss how i needed this time off because she made it to where it was during my work scheduled hours, then i get served with child support papers. i got to the point where family court in nys had me so upset i actually started wondering if i was the bad guy like did i really do anything wrong? would i have gone through all this if i had just stayed with the mother and suffered? i have since moved to florida because even with the court orders and orders of protection the mother still didnt comply to them as orderd because she doesnt care what the courts have to say. And now that i am in florida trying to contact child support is nearly impossible. i am behind in payments due to the move and have an extra vehicle i want to donate to try and become current again so they dont take my license and they make it impossible to contact them. i dont get it. But if they want theyr money and your late your the bad person. The whole nys familycourt an child support system really needs to be changed. florida family court is equal to both parents why cant they be?
Marcia
Cleveland,Ohio,
U.S.A.
To the OP
#10Consumer Comment
Mon, May 18, 2009
You didn't say how long you went without paying child support in between your move from AZ to NY, but it sounds like a couple of years. Without paying child support..... And we're supposed to feel sorry for you?
I empathize with your need to provide for both children, but you still have a responsibility to the first one. And I sincerely applaud your efforts to maintain good relationships and catch up on arrears.
Your ex's husband sounds like an a*****e. Nothing you can do about that. But you only have another year of support, and then that's over.
Phil25b
Piffard,New York,
U.S.A.
The problem with NYS Family courts
#10Consumer Comment
Mon, May 18, 2009
I am currently in a custody battle for my two year old son. From day one I have been able to prove to hte courts that she is unfit. She has a severe alcohol problem which she has recently recieved a DWI proving my point. She is very medically neglectful of my son. She refuses to send presciption medication for my son that most of the time I have purchased because my wife and I are pretty much the only one who takes him ther the doctor. We are both reqired to provide medication to eachother for our son. She will pick up a prescription and not send it to me forcing me to call in a new one that the insurence company wont cover because she had already filled one. He had an allergic reaction to a medication, It was a sunday so I called the hospital to speak with the doctor on call. They told me to discontinue the use of the meds and if the rash was not better by the next day he need to be seen. He went back to his mother the next morning for her visitation and she was informed that he need to be taken in to the doctors to be seen. She waited two days then called the doctors refusing to take him. She had them call in a prescription which she picked up because the insurence company had been billed. When she dropped him back off to me on thursday afternoon she sent him with womens Vagisil and said to use this to clear it up. His diaper was full of urine and soiled with bowel movements. He looked like he had been sitting in that diaper all day!!!!!! His rash had gotten so bad that when I tried to clean him up he would scream out in pain bringing him up off the couch!!! I immediatly called the dr. office and told them what was happening and they couldn't believe what she sent him with. They called in another prescription that once again wasn't covered by the insurence forcing me to pay full price again.. That medication cleared him up in 1 day. She has 5 felony counts of Forgery againced her that she awaiting trial for, The DWI charge, and an ACD that is still in affect for an aggrevated harrassment charge. And still the courts are not taking this case two seriously. I am so sick of this whole the Women no matter what is the better parent bull crap that this state shoves down everyones throat. I literally fear for my sons safety when he is with her.
Anonymous
Flossmoor,Illinois,
U.S.A.
NYS Family Court
#10Consumer Comment
Tue, May 05, 2009
While I am saddened to hear of the nightmares the above have or are going through, it isn't always the party paying support who gets screwed over by this system. I think the family courts themselves need a complete overhaul. My mother has been attempting to get child support for three years from my former stepfather, the father of my much younger sister. He refuses to get a job, so he can claim he cannot afford support, is now living off of another woman, claims he is disabled, yet refuses to apply for disability, and has petitioned the court to reduce his payment to $25 a MONTH! Mind you, he has paid a total of $500 over the past three years, sporadically, yet the courts DO NOTHING. They keep making my mother file all these financial reports over and over again, give him a public defender, but won't offer my mother assistance, and make her jump through hoops to get the money the court ordered him to pay. She has had to go to court eleven times in three years. He had put her so far in debt prior to their divorce, never paying for anything (mortgage, utilities, tuition, etc.) that she can barely make ends meet. So, basically, they (the courts in NY) need to start balancing themselves out, and stop punishing the good parents, on both sides of the issue. With the exception of New York City, family court judges are elected, so next time elections roll around, it's VITAL to do research to make sure good, fair, balanced judges are sent to the courts!
Mlaird7
Palmyra,New York,
U.S.A.
I hear ya!!!!
#10Consumer Comment
Tue, April 14, 2009
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and have 2 children together. He has previous children with his x-wife and my live in children suffer greatly because of this. New York state takes all of his tax money every year and he became behind from a lay-off years ago. He made arrangements to pay over the amount he is supposed to pay and he has made these payments every week at the expense of our household. Child support recently sent him a paper from the DMV to revoke his license because the company he works for was garnishing his wages but was not sending it to support collection due to the company not having funds. They did not pay his support for 6 weeks and he is now behind even more. He has made many trips to child support where they can never help him and when he calls the number they tell him to go to his local office because they cannot help either. I have also been told my children do not count even though we have a son that is diagnosed with autism. We recieve no state funding for him because I make too much money. I recently bought him a vehicle from my personal tax money that child support is searching for so they can seize it and sell it to pay his support. I am angry all the time over this and I feel like my kids are insignificant in the eyes of the state. Regardless of the other kids coming first mine are here also and deserve just as much consideration as her kids. We have to work opposite shifts so our children do not need daycare. Although it is good for the kids to have one of us at all times it is just that...ONE OF US!!!! This has been pure torture over the years and it is so frustrating to watch someone try and try and it is never good enough in the eyes of the state. He is an amazing father and they treat him like he is a deadbeat that they can speak down on whenever he tries to fix this mess his work has created. He is worried all the time because in previous years he had to go to jail for six weeks for owing $640. I know offhand 2 women who cannot collect at all and their exes are behind 7000 and 15,000 and nothing is ever done to them. This system sucks to say the least and it is not designed to benefit anyone except the pigs that work for support collection. We have not taken a vacation in 9 years, our kids cannot join any sports because we cannot afford it. We cannot eat out for celebrations ever and I am late on every one of my bills every month. When my kids need clothes I have to skip bills to buy them while his other 2 kids are dressed to the nine. I hate to say it but I look forward to the day his 2 kids are grown so mine can have some of what they have now. I know there are people out there thinking I should not have had any with him but we love each other and they are our greatest accomplishments. I just feel like they deserve more than what the state is allowing them to have.
Inspector
Tobyhanna,Pennsylvania,
U.S.A.
Wonderful parents???
#10Consumer Comment
Mon, March 16, 2009
Apparently you have a warped definition of "Wonderful parents". Doesn't sound like the word good applies either.
Jmic
Niagara Falls,New York,
U.S.A.
NYS Child Support
#10Consumer Comment
Mon, March 16, 2009
I would say that it is not just Livingston County but the whole NYS Child Support Law in general... My ex wants my 17 year old daughter to get a college loan for $10K to cover school expenses. She will be living at school but my ex will not give her the $650 per month of child support. How is that fair from my daughter? I think that my daughter or the college should get the support to off-set the costs.... If my ex gets her way my daughter will have tens of thousands of dollars in loans when she could have covered her college with child support and a part time job!!!!! NYS child support laws stink!!!
Oh yeah... My questionable Lawyer stated to me during my divorce that the JUDGE believes that little girls should be with their mothers... Just take the blinders off of lady justice....
Mandy
Mount Vision,New York,
U.S.A.
AMEN to that!!
#10Consumer Comment
Thu, February 26, 2009
I am a single mother who has a daughter living with her father and a son who lives with me. Both are from different men. I pay child support for my daughter, which her father has hidden her from me for 4 years!!!! I am still court ordered to pay her support, which I have no problems doing if I had my visitation with her. The courts who take my money give it to him for her support will not tell me where my money is being sent. When I had gone to court in the beginning of this for the support order to be ruled on, I asked what about me and my son? They told me the exact same thing!!! My son doesn't matter. BULL SH*T!!!!! How do you support your children if they take all your paycheck??? I just filed my taxes and they took all of them to pay arrears owed on her support. Is this correct? Is he being patted on the back for keeping my daughter from me??? They say support has nothing to do with visitation. HAHA!!! BULL SH*T AGAIN!!! She needs more support than finacial support!!! On top of that he has two new vehicles, a house, and a second income from the b***h my daughter now calls Mommy!!!! I have no vehicle, which now that my taxes were taken I cannot afford a vehicle and the son of a b***h who is her father wants me to do the transporting as well as pay support when I did see her, I cannot afford clothes, food, etc for my own son who does depend on solely me to take care of him!!! His father was court ordered to pay $12 a week because he is self employed and can rig his pay to what he wants and the courts all know this as well but do nothing about it. I pay more in a week than I recieve in a month!!! BULL SH*T AGAIN!!!!! You speak with anyone who doesnt have to pay support for their children and they are against anyone opinions of who actually has to. The system is F*ked up!!! I am living on help from social services to watch my ex having all neccessities that they need. So unfair!!!! Why should my son suffer because they have to have money that they dont need???? On top of that if the parent doesnt allow the other parent to see the child I believe the support should be stopped IMMEDIATELY!!! I know if my support was stopped they would do anything to let me see her for the mighty dollar they get!!! On top of that support is not credit card or loan so why should us poor non custodial parents have to pay interests??? Aren't you taking enough away from us?? So it isnt just men be affraid its women as well!!!