Oklahoma DHS-CPS I want my kids back!! Child Protective Service Lawton Oklahoma
I am 24 years old and my story is very long. When I was 17 I married a guy that I went high school with. He was white and I'm a Black and Puerto Rican female which may be playing a role in the way things are going. He joined the Army and we were stationed in Lawton, Oklahoma. In 2001 we had a son. Six weeks later I had picked my son up out of his crib and went to feed him. When I laid him down I noticed that his arm kept continuously flopping around so I woke up my husband who was asleep at the time and asked him to look at it. He said he didn't think much was wrong with it and that maybe we should just mobilize it (At the time I didn't think it may be a sign that he may have caused the problem). I was concerned and said we needed to go to the hospital. We took our son to the emergency room. They performed an x-ray. The results were a spiral fracture. I was so young and dumb that at the time I didn't even know what a fracture was. I kept asking the doctor what that meant. He said my baby's arm had to have been twisted. I was so confused. The doctor said we needed to stay overnight to make sure my son didn't catch a fever. Overnight turned into two weeks. We received visits from social services case workers. They eventually determined that it was child abuse and took my son into custody. We were devastated. A couple of days later I received a phone call from the police department requesting that I come in to take a polygraph. I was excited to do so because I knew I would pass and I assumed I would be able to get my son back. I took the polygraph and passed. They never asked my husband to take a polygraph. My son stayed in custody for about 7 months. During that time we were required to take parenting and anger management classes which we completed. We were tricked into pleading guilty. The case worker called it stipulating. She said that all it meant we were doing is saying that when his arm broke it broke in our home. I didn't realize what we did until it was too late. We couldn't afford the lawyer we had at the time so he was ready to give up. Our child was then placed back in our custody.
When he was 10 months old I was at work and my husband came running in my job appearing as if he had seen a ghost. He said something was wrong with our baby. I ran out to the car to see my son looking as if he was having a seizure and he was not responsive. Something in me told me that this was the beginning of a new hell. When we made it to the emergency room we were not allowed in the room with our son. He was flown out of town. The doctors there determined that it had to be shaking baby syndrome. My now ex husband was arrested. But because of how nave I was I just couldn't believe that he would have hurt our child. I just couldn't see the man that I went to high school with, the man who had never hit me could be able to hurt our child. The only way I was able to explain it was that the injury had to occur from him falling. Let me take a moment in the story to better explain what type of man my husband was. He was a master manipulator. NO One could imagine him doing anything to hurt his child. I have found out so many things since this case about him from people not even knowing he was married to not knowing he had kids to him being in debt with many people. It's like he had multiple personalities. I don't understand why it's so hard for DHS to not understand how I believed him because at one time they even believed him. Oklahoma DHS was very nasty through out the whole situation from beginning till now. Let me take another moment and explain some of the things they have done. In most states DHS will automatically place the child with family. In my case when my mother tried to get her grandson out of the system the director of DHS called her and told her they would never give her custody. She was told that her best bet would be to get a lawyer. Unfortunately my family cannot afford an attorney. At one of my jobs coincidently I ended up working with an ex case worker. When she got fired for embezzlement my boss explained to me how she had pulled up my case file and showed it to her. She had also told my boss that I allowed my husband to abuse my children and myself. Many of the workers and supervisors speak freely about my case with who ever(which is a breach of confidentiality). Because Lawton is so small much of it gets back to me. I also at one time was able to have a legal aid attorney because honestly we cannot afford a lawyer. Once I won my trial and my parental rights could not be terminated the judge said that I could not have a legal aid attorney based on my new husband's income. My current lawyer said that the judge knows I can't afford a lawyer and their hope is for me to come to court without a lawyer so they can do what they want to do. The foster parent in my case has been allowed to behave in a way that I didn't even know was legal. People that go to her church have come to me with the lies that she tells. Also many people involved with making decisions in my case are buddies with her so that also plays against me because she wants to adopt my children. I've been called everything but the child of God by case workers as well.
Our son was taken into custody again. My ex eventually made bond and I stayed with him because I believed him. Our lawyers and everyone around us told us we needed to stick together and get our son back. Nobody told me to leave him. So that's what I did I stuck by him. I eventually became pregnant again. Because I feared that my child would be taken away if I gave birth to him in Oklahoma I went to South Carolina where my mother is and had my second son. My husband stayed in Oklahoma. Unfortunately when my child was 4 months old I went to Oklahoma for a court date and brought him with me. DHS workers found out I was there with my child and they showed up at the apartment where I was staying. I lied and said he wasn't my baby and eventually they had to leave. I then took off with my baby and hid out for about 2 days before they found me. I spent the night in jail and my second child was taken into DHS custody for the fact that they already had my first child in custody. My friend's father was friends with the judge and was able to get me out. My only request was that my baby be placed in the same foster home as his brother so that they can know each other. We were allowed visitation with our second child but not our first child. During this time I still believed my ex husband.
The closer and closer it got to my ex husbands trial date the more he began to change. For the first time he was giving me a reason to question if he was capable of hurting our son. The verbal abuse towards me became outrageous. I also learned that he was subjected to a lot of abuse as a child. I even became bold enough to ask him if he hurt our child and he flipped out and told me I was just like everyone else. Then one day I said a prayer due to all my confusion and not knowing what to do. I asked the lord to please show me what happened to my first born. I explained in my prayer that I didn't know what else to do or where to turn. Two days later my ex husband and I had an argument he attacked me and kept me hostage in our apartment. He didn't let me leave for hours. The next day I called my mother and told her what happened. She told me I needed to leave. The next day when he was out with friends I gathered up my things and left. I never looked back. When I left him he would call threatening to kill me, to blow up my apartment and much more including trying to run a friend and myself off the road. Eventually he went to trial and was found guilty of child abuse. He was sentenced to 10 years. The foster parent wrote a letter to the judge requesting more. This is pretty odd to me now because now she's trying to convince people that I may have been the one to injure my child.
Even though he is in prison my fight for my kids has not ended. Because I believed him they are using it against me. They have even stooped as low as to say maybe I did it. Lawton, Oklahoma is a place where it is all about who you know. Oklahoma DHS took me to trial to have my parental rights terminated. During the trial everyone that took the stand lied, but I still prevailed and won. I won my case over a year ago and I still do not have my children. At every meeting that my lawyer and I have attended with DHS they spend that time degrading me and expressing how upset they are that the jury did not terminate my parental rights. One of the men at the meeting even said that he commends my lawyer for defending people like me. I remember him saying that like it was yesterday because it hurt my heart. This case has been going on for 5 years. I've done parenting and anger management classes for the second time. I've done two psychological evaluations. I've had every type of abuse training you can imagine as well as individual counseling. Every time I complete a treatment plan they create a new plan. I believe their goal is to hope I give up, but it will never happen. I'm going through all of these things for the fact that I believed my husband. The case has gotten so ridiculous that case workers are making false accusations. My case worker has lied about things as small as my phone calls. I now have to keep track of my phone records and write down what we talk about to cover my tracks. Since this I have remarried. We had a son in Oct. 2006. We live in Georgia. Oklahoma DHS has even tried to take this baby. WHY??? They ran checks to find out where I live because I refused to give them my real address because I knew they would try to take my baby. They even sent South Carolina officials to my mother's house looking for me. The case worker there had received the impression that I was a fugitive. After my mother explained to her what was going on she was in shock and disbelief at Oklahoma's actions. Georgia to closed the case and could not understand why my children have not been returned to me. I haven't been able to go to Oklahoma to have visitation with my son because my husbands is in the Army. He deploys back and forth. If I go to Oklahoma I need to take my baby with me. If I do that they will take him just like they did my second child. I have also had a lady which was appointed by the judge to kind of be a mediator in my case. The first time I spoke with her I felt that she would be a help. I though I finally had a direct voice to the judge so that he would know exactly what was going on. She called me again and I found out the hard way that she to is a snake and cannot be trusted. She called me today to tell me I should give up and give my children up for adoption. She said in such a calm and sweet voice that I had to sit and just really absorb what she had just said. She asked me why I would want to take them from a place where they are happy. I told her that I couldn't even believe she had the audacity to call me with some crap like that. I'm writing because this case has gotten out of hand. DHS in Oklahoma plays the role of God. The judge lets them do whatever they want. The sad thing is this is not an isolated incident. There are many cases where children are in the system that shouldn't be. Do I regret believing my ex husband?..EVERYDAY..Because of my ex husband my son will never be the same. I'm not even sure of the extent of his learning disabilities because they don't tell me. There are many things that I look back on that maybe could have been a sign. I have a 5 year old that I have not been allowed to see since he was 10 months and a 3 year old that doesn't know me. I'm their mother. I'm at a point to where I don't know what to do. I have a lawyer but it seems like it doesn't matter. I will never give up on my children. PLEASE HELP ME!! Because I didn't want to send a 10 page letter I shortened it. There are still so many parts for me to tell. Please contact me. I need help!!
Lina
Discouraged, Georgia
U.S.A.
Click here to read other Rip Off Reports on Child Protective Services
9 Updates & Rebuttals
Father Of 4
Nowata,Oklahoma,
U.S.A.
DHS Vs. Familys
#10Consumer Comment
Sat, October 25, 2008
It is easy for someone who has not had the nightmare of DHS show up at your residents to assume that only guilty party's have cases opened. WRONG!
At the age of 21 I had bought a house, very nice and very old. As my wife and I where moveing in we get a 'visitor'.
'Someone had reported to "DHS" that I was dealing drugs out of my house and both me and my wife were 'junkies'.
Ok no problem I don't even take over-the-counter meds as a part of my religious beliefs. So when asked to take a drug test I said "Sure, when and where?"
Without a doubt I passed. Also note the city police NEVER talked to me or my wife about this suspected drug trafficing.
BUT!!!!
DHS had seen a few things that concerned them about the welfare of our children. Namely the unpacked boxes and general disarray of the house. Remember we were moveing into the house, and had not spent 3 nights in the new home.
After 2 years the case was closed. How did we finally get the case closed? We filed for devorce a week before. As soon as the judge heard that we filed she closed the case, 30 seconds into the 'reveiw hearing'.
Now maybe this girl was to trusting of her husband, and if so I feel bad for her. But really if your married to someone you would not trust why the hell did you get married?
Oklahoma is ranked number 2 in the nation for having children in foster care.
Some people need to have thier children taken from them but not everyone.
And Jessica WAY out there in Hawaii Oklahoma has a Kin-ship placement act. So that kids will not loose contact with the family. THIS HAPPENS FIRST! Then foster care. The only reason the grandmother could not get the kids was because she lives out of state. A court apointed lawyer is only granted to VERY low incomes so if you work no lawyer. And remember they work for the state and get paid no matter what so it's best not to use them anyway.
And by the way.. As I'm typeing this I have just been informed of a 20 month old who, after being taken into DHS custody and placed into foster care, was mauled by a dog and has to have his top lip reattached to his face. He was in his 'new home' less then two hours.
So answer me this? Who is going to take this baby away from the state for "FAILURE TO PROTECT"
Dani
Clive,Iowa,
U.S.A.
correction to previous poster
#10Consumer Comment
Thu, July 31, 2008
'NOT ALL ABUSE LEAVES SCARS!'
WRONG!!! All abuse leaves scars. The question is whether those scars are visable and/or effective.
Jessica
Wahiawa,Hawaii,
U.S.A.
You should lose your children forever
#10Consumer Suggestion
Thu, July 31, 2008
You know, if you read that story and just believed IT WOULD still have holes. But I'm a thinker, and there are a few parts of that story that betray the reality of the situation.
First of all, after the doctor explained to you what happened to your son's arm, you didn't leave your husband. You made a choice right there to keep your son in a situation that could very well bring him harm. You should have lost all parental rights to him right there. He was six weeks old, you were responsible for absolutely everything that happened to him, and who he came in contact with. He can't walk, he can't crawl, he can't talk. You are his only protection and you threw him to the dogs for a MAN.
Second of all, despite how horrendous the first situation is, you allowed your son to be SHOOK almost to death, certainly to the point that he will never be able to have a "normal" life. Your husband may have committed the act, but you are just as guilty as if you had done it yourself. You left that poor child alone with him. You stayed with him. After that act, you should have not only lost custody of your child (so he could at least attempt to have a "normal" life) but all children you may have in the future..due to your pattern of ENDANGERING CHILDREN'S LIVES.
The classic part is, you weren't satisfied with this drama...you decided to get pregnant again, by the same MAN. Hello? I love the part where you blame getting back together with him on others, and its not your fault! Nope, not you...because you are a victim. The lawyer should have told you that getting back together with the man who abused your son wasn't a good idea! Do you realize how absolutely insane that sounds?
Of course they wouldn't give the children to your mother, or another relative. This level stupidity can't be contained in just one generation of the family tree.
You mention as well that you moved from Oklahoma to South Carolina to escape the police (classic). Of course, the fact being that you just left Shaken Baby #1 that you profess to love and want to regain custody of back in OK, abandoned for Baby #2.
I love the part where now you blame your legal difficulties on the fact that the state won't pay for your lawyer because your NEW husband makes too much money. Yes, thats how it works. The fact that you are married AGAIN, already is probably not going to work in your favor with the courts either.
I don't think the fact that you are "Black and Puerto Rico" is playing into how this case evolved, although you certainly aren't doing alot to combat the negative stereo-types. I think that because you are 22 years old, with two children you've lost custody of for abuse, and another child (whose safety we should all pray for) and married twice is what is making them shake their heads.
You notice the part of the story where despite all the beatings, pain and abuse her child endured, she never believed her husband could have done it, never left him, until she herself suffered the abuse. You know, even if I believed her story. If someone had threatened to take away one of my children because of a man even if I was convinced he was innocent I would leave him. Because my children are the most important thing in my life. Its sad these children had to be born to a mother without the same priorities.
The part in your story where you claim people felt sorry for you and wanted to help until they read your file? Wrap your mind around that.
The saddest part of the story is where you state you haven't even gone to visit these children. The children you state you want back. You say yourself that you don't know them, but instead of trying to correct that, you make up excuses. You say you can't go visit them because of your NEW BABY. Mmmhmm, I see. You have a third child, and that is the reason you can't even visit the two other children that were victimized in your care.
I hope those children are with a good family now, and get all the love and hugs they can stand. But if they aren't, if they are in danger..or just happy, they only have one person to blame.
You.
Joe
Austin,Texas,
U.S.A.
The Children are the REAL victims...
#10Consumer Comment
Thu, July 31, 2008
I am seeing the classic family violence syndrome here.
For many reasons, one of the most important reasons being that if the breadwinner is put in jail, there would be a significant LOSS of income for the non-arrested partner which means they would have to go out and get a job or another job if their main one was just part-time!
That seems to be the main reason that they don't report the no-good bum that abused the kids. The second is sex and what good is that when you have to be worried about what the dude is going to do to your children next --and maybe to YOU!
I think the husband in this case also abused his wife psychologically. NOT ALL ABUSE LEAVES SCARS! I am wondering if he threatened to kill her family and hunt her down and harm her and the children if she ever left him. That might be the only reason I would stay with a scum like him if I was in this situation and it would be only until I could hide out in a shelter or something.
The children SHOULD have been removed from this mess because the main responsibility of a mother is to TAKE CARE OF HER CHILDREN THE BEST WAY SHE CAN and STAYING WITH AN ABUSIVE BULLY WHO HURTS KIDS IS NOT IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILDREN!
Home boy must have been one hot lover or one scary, intimidating dude!
When you have children, your days of cute young THANG are OVER! You have to think of the safety and welfare of your children.
I wonder if the children were sexually abused as well.
How does a father just let his son lay in a crib with a broken arm and DOES NOTHING! That is not a father --that is a sperm donor!
If I were the lady in this scenario, I would have a tubal ligation so that way I could have NO MORE CHILDREN!
I am very glad that none of you people saw the dead bodies of beautiful little children who had been tortured, shaken, raped and mutilated by sadistic boyfriends and husbands of hootchie mommas who were completely unfit to care for their kids because they cared more about a steady paycheck and a hot piece of *** than they did their children.I remember the beautiful little boy lying dead in a quiet room off the ICU Unit in a Texas town after a horrendous sexual abuse because his mother wanted to turn tricks and offer her son in exchange for dope. I have never wept or prayed like that again and I hope I never have to. He was just a little boy.
I saw the same child abuse stuff start to happen in my family but Texas Child Protective Services stepped in and saved the five children from an unfit mother and a sociopathic father.
Every time I read a story like this, I think about the bloated young lady who had six kids, starting when she was 14 and she looked like a barrel with legs. She was trying to smoke her crack rock and was waiting outside a cheap nightclub frequented by undocumented immigrant workers. She was 21 and almost wearing a tank top and I have no idea where she got the repulsive Daisy Duke hot pants in size HUGE that showcased her cellulite, flab and other disgusting stuff that should have remained covered up. She couldn't understand why her kids couldn't open the cat food she left for them and she was going to get her boyfriend and father of three of her kids to have his gangsta friends kill whoever it was who got her kids taken away ---as soon as he gets out of the maximum security state prison.
Man, I don't care what these people do to themselves, by themselves, JUST DON'T DRAG THE KIDS ALONG! In fact, if you are not mature enough to put your kids first and raise them so they can SUCCEED in this society and sacrifice a few things to help them get ahead, then YOU ARE NOT READY TO BE A PARENT!
If you would not have kids, CPS would not take them!
If you don't love your own children enough to protect them and care for them and put their interests BEFORE YOUR OWN, DON'T HAVE THE KIDS!
You only get five years of welfare anyway and then they CUT YOU OFF and if you had them for child support money, you don't always get it!
This lady had better GROW UP FAST and LEARN TO PUT THE CHILDREN FIRST!
That means settle down, learn a job skill or do whatever you have to do to provide a secure, loving, abuse-free home for YOUR CHILDREN!
It's called GROWING UP AND BEING A RESPONSIBLE PARENT.
Jimnok
Meeker,Oklahoma,
U.S.A.
you have got to be kidding
#10Consumer Suggestion
Thu, July 31, 2008
The problem here is, you people seem to feel like this girl is the one being wronged. It is the baby that has been abused. It doesn't matter who did the abusing, the baby was still abused. This is an example of how society today seems to be so self absorbed that everything must be about them. An example of this was, she had another child with this man!!! Whether she is the abuser, he is the abuser or both of them are the abusers, she had another child in that situation. Where is the thought in that? Also, how does someone not know what a fracture is but knows what a polygraph is???
Maybe more of you should remember Kelsey Smith-Briggs. She wasn't as lucky as these children!!!
me
atlanta,Georgia,
U.S.A.
Response to Rhea
#10Author of original report
Fri, January 11, 2008
Rhea you are an idiot..and from the terminology you use it sounds like you work for DHS. You have obviously never been in my situation nor will you ever understand. Parents that have been there understand and offer words of advice. Do some more research. How many girls are molested by their fathers and the mother never knew?? or by priests even.
When a wife goes to work and leaves her husband with his son/daughter your not trained to think "oh what if he abuses him". Who suspects a person who has never demonstrated any ounce of violence would be capable of child abuse. And with the arm fracture that you said I lost you at. First they said it was an arm fracture, then they said he had a bone disease and the last doctor said there never was a fracture. What is your reasoning for that Rhea??? Who's opinion would you have taken??
It's not my fault that I married a monster. And it's not my fault the DHS system in Oklahoma needs to be renovated and observed and quite a few people need to be fired. So do you think it's okay for case workers to be pathelogical liars??? Do you think it's okay for mom's to go years with out seeing their children?? Get a Life. You probably have no heart or common sense of everyday living. People who think one minded like you are the reason this world is so jacked up and lost.
Patrick
Pawleys Island,South Carolina,
U.S.A.
Shes a victim of the system
#10Consumer Suggestion
Fri, January 11, 2008
Rhea, apparently you didnt read her story very well. It does not seem to be her fault. She is a victim of this bad DHS system.
Rhea
Oklahoma CIty,Oklahoma,
U.S.A.
They are right.
#10Consumer Comment
Fri, January 11, 2008
You lost me when you said that your baby had a spiral fracture. Spiral fractures in infants and toddlers are almost always child abuse due to the fact that baby's bones are not completely formed and are pliable. It takes a lot of force to snap a baby's bone. Sorry, but you failed to protect your daughter from a heinous and shocking injury. Additionally, any google search on infant fractures would have given you the same info I just did. The first person I would suspect would be my partner. You did not protect your baby, you protected your boyfriend. It is all your own fault.
L.
OklahomaCounty,Oklahoma,
U.S.A.
Read the Adoptions and Safe Families Act of 1997
#10Consumer Comment
Tue, June 12, 2007
If you read The Adoptions and Safe Families Act of 1997 you'll know why DHS will NOT return your children to you. TheyWILL find a way to take your parenting rights away. Their rule is if the child is out of the home 15 of the past 22 months, they use that as REASON to adopt them.
The problem is that when they meet their 'mean' adoption quota each year, they get Bonus Money. Oklahoma is one of 31 states that has received Bonus Money EVERY YEAR since 1997. In October 2005, DHS agencies were given more than $17 trillion dollars in Bonus Money for adoptions finalized in 2004. If a child is 'normal' they get $4,000. If the child is handicapped or a 'needs' child, they get $6,000. If the child is twelve or older, they get an additional $10,000.
You should search for the case where DHS adopted ELEVEN children to one home. A neighbor found them living in cages while the adoptive parents were on an enjoyable, extended vacation. The neighbor reported her finding. The children were taken BACK into custody so they can be adopted AGAIN for another batch of Bonus Money. Figure it up. Eleven children X $4,000 = $44,000 the DHS agency got IF they were normal children. However, these children were 'needs' children, so they were given $66,000 of Bonus Money just for those ELEVEN children. When they're adopted the next time, some or all of them will be twelve or older so they'll get $16,000 for each of them. That's $176,000 just for those ELEVEN children. DHS adopted over 50,000 children last year. If you read the Adoptions and Safe Families Act of 1997, you'll see where the Bonus Money comes, UNLIMITED, from our Social Security Fund (OUR FICA Taxes). It's fraud, waste and abuse of federal funds. The Bush Administration extended the ASFA from 2002 through 2008. Then, he announced that our Social Security Fund would be BROKE by 2008. The ASFA also states that the courts get Bonus Money for SPEEDING ADOPTIONS.
Lena, I'm so sorry to hear of your plight just to visit your children. Their worker will insist that the children remain in foster care and later, after your parenting rights have been taken away, they'll tell the judge that the kids are doing wonderful in the foster home and THEY will tell the judge to adopt them to the foster parents. It's so wrong to break a family apart but as long as DHS gets Bonus Money for destroying families, there will be no end.
DHS agencies have interstate agreements between states but the agreements are NOT used. I believe that the reason they do NOT want you to visit your children is because if the children show affection to you, they'll have to give them EXTENDED Grief Therapy or drugs to alter their minds. They're probably alredy on psychiatric drugs. This foster parenting stuff if very abusive for children.
Cases such as yours are going on all across the country. The Tulsa World and Oklahoman are both publishing reports about OKDHS abuse and neglect. It seems DHS agencies LOVE to place children with gay couples. You may want to send your story to Randy Ellis at the Oklahoman Newspaper (rellis@oklahoman.com). He's collecting stories.
I saw a poster recently that showed an awful looking forest of tree stumps. Its caption was "DHS is building a Forest of Family Tree Stumps."
A RALLY is scheduled in August 2007. It will be in Washington D.C. One lady is constructing quilt blocks showing the names of children who have been abused and/or neglected by DHS. They'll be displaying the quilts with children's names on it during the march. If you want to know more about the Rally, join CPS Reform Group at Yahoo.
I don't have much of a suggestion that will help you. I just KNOW there are thousands of other parents fighting to get their children returned OR at least get visits. It's NOT happening. The day a child is taken into custody, the worker begins trying to find an adoptive home for the child. Children are being tortured by DHS and their contracting foster parents.
If the trial court didn't take your parenting rights away, WHY don't they return your children? Ask the judge why your children haven't been returned to you. One thing I'd suggest is that you write to the state legislators at Lawton and ask that they rescind the Adoptions and Safe Families Act of 1997 to SAVE families AND safe children from ABUSE/NEGLECT by the Department of Human Services. DHS Workers are trained to lie and fabricate tales!
It's totally unbelievable that the worker WANTS you to relinquish parenting rights to your children after the jurors wanted them returned to you. What's the point in having a trial if they're not going to use the juror's decision? Why don't they provide REUNIFICATION CLASSES for you since you won your case? BECAUSE, the worker says, they're doing wonderful in the foster/adoptive home. Sure! They give the foster/adoptive home from $750-$2,500 EACH MONTH for EACH child they're keeping for DHS. If they adopt the child, the adoptive home gets Adoption Assistance for each child until they're eighteen or twenty-two years old if they're still in school.