Complaint Review: Olivia Cara (YouTuber)

Normally, I would have said nothing about this incident, but when a young woman relies on stereotyping to accuse an older male (me) of something he did not do, and has a large number of “loyal” fans, I begin fearing for my safety, and offer this report as a rebuttal to anyone who wants both sides of this story.

Yesterday, to my horror, I watched a video produced by a young woman named Olivia Cara, a famous “YouTuber” who makes money off her “storytime” videos, and has an audience of over 335,000 on her channel, making her a serious “influencer.”  The video, which she made in April, and which I watched only yesterday (making me a d**n lazy stalker, if I were one, which I’m not), entitled “Obsessive Online Fan Mystery Stalker/Story Time,” appears to mentions me by my first name, and references (her version of) events which took place SIX YEARS AGO, and which did not even involve her!  While I have no problem with her mentioning those events (which involved her older sister, who I won’t name here out of respect for someone I had thought was a friend), Olivia expanded this into speculation that I may have been stalking her under two other names, doing things far worse than what she says I did six years ago (she called me “mean, rude, and strange.”) 

PRIOR TO YESTERDAY, I HAD NEVER SPOKEN TO OLIVIA CARA IN MY LIFE!!!

I will not bore the reader with the details of my interaction with her sister, except to say that we had numerous friendly conversations, and my “meanness” had to do with the group splitting up (kind of like a fan of a TV show mad that their favorite character was killed off).  No restraining orders were filed, and I had more or less forgotten about the sister, since she was no longer singing, though I checked from time to time to see how she turned out, and if she had rebuilt her career.  In 2014, I did send a “request” to their mom for the sister to sing one of my favorite love songs at her own wedding, and maybe videotape it, thinking it would be a great performance that I could enjoy (and maybe help her career).  Think what you want of this, but no laws were broken.

What I did not know back in 2009-2010 was that the sister had a *real* stalker, someone named “Brian,” who, according to Olivia, was infatuated with the sister, to the point of sending expensive gifts to their family home.   Apparently, they didn’t know who “Brian” was, and since I was “rude, mean, and strange” (not illegal and not even obsessive, more like shoot-from-the-hip online commentary during my breaks from work), they wondered if perhaps I was Brian under another name. 

I WAS NOT BRIAN!!!

This is where things broke down with the sister, since I thought I was talking to a friend, and she thought (without telling me, of course) that she was talking to Brian.  Had I known this, I would have gladly proven I was not Brian.  At one point, according to Olivia, they dismantled one of Brian’s gifts, because they thought it might have a camera in it.  They did keep the exercise bike though.  At this point in the video (about 5:00 in), Olivia says:

“so there was this mean fan named Ray, and for some reason, I feel *this is all connected.*  This is what sparked my idea to make this video.  Recently – and I checked the Twitter – I never noticed anything about this guy, okay, um – I’m not going to say the name (how nice!) because I’ve tweeted back to him on my twitter before once.”  This THIRD individual (again, not me), Olivia said “has a n**i avatar on his twitter, and I’ve been getting tweets from him often, very often…he knows more about me than he should….”  Olivia then mentions that this third guy was contacting her because she thinks he was obsessed with her sister.  She then says “I personally think that this was Ray and Brian (who she also thought was me)…”

For the record, Olivia Cara:

I AM NOT BRIAN

I AM NOT THIS THIRD GUY

Notice how she equates me with two genuinely obsessed fans who (as the video explains) have done far worse things than being pissed off that his favorite singer’s career was trainwrecked.

It’s one thing to call me “rude, mean, and strange.”  On a bad day, I can definitely be all three, but I know where the legal lines are (I’ve never even been arrested for a crime).  I also have stage 3 COPD and am legally blind, so I don’t present any physical threat to anyone.  Of course, with Olivia all but painting a target on my back (the only reason I’m posting here is to put people on notice of the truth), I need to clear the record, and am doing so here.

Olivia is new to fame; I am not.  I grew up with A-listers for friends, relatives, and classmates, and built a bit of a name for myself (which is why I attract the same type of stalkers she is now enduring).  She has SPONSORS, whose ads appear before her video, and who I am now boycotting.  Ironically, Leslie Jones (herself a victim of cyberbullying) appears in another ad.  Would you buy a product whose ad turned up in a video making false allegations about you?  I sure wouldn’t.

Rather than waste time and money on legal action, I simply ask Olivia for a retraction and apology, and I will end my boycott, chalking this up to a misunderstanding.  If, however, she doubles down by leaving the video up and not clearing my name (about being the other two guys, not about being “rude, mean, and strange”), then the boycott stands, and I will begin listing the sponsors who I am boycotting.

The ball is now in your court, Olivia.  Please do the right thing.  I know you are young and new to being public, but you need to stop abusing your power.  As for YouTube, I thought you were cleaning up your act by de-monetizing videos that engaged in this conduct, but I guess "some animals are more equal than others," as Orwell put it.

Ray Gordon

p.s. -- I'm far from the only person Olivia has called creepy, strange, rude, or a stalker, as her channel's videos also indicate.