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Simon Thirlaway crackalackin007 Hopeless romantic meets 2 soul-mates in weeks. He's never been so sure about anything in his life!!! Venice Beach, California
This guy is f*cking insane. I am a male, so I know that this type of behavior is NOT normal or rational or sane. My best girlfriend, who happens to be one of the smartest, kind-hearted, generous, loyal, trustworthy individuals I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, met this guy on a dating site. After reviewing the emails they exchanged before their first date, it was clear this guy already had her in his mind as his "future wife".
So, she goes on this date, where he asked her to bring her dog to his house, so their dogs could hang out. This date was on the Friday before Christmas....so December 23. They end up having a few drinks, so she spends the night. No, they did not have sex on the first night. But, he did ask her to spend the Christmas weekend with him. Moving a bit quickly....anyone?? She already had plans for Christmas Eve. But, they spoke on Christmas Eve at which point he asked her if she would spend Christmas Day with him and his friends.
She said she needed to think about it, and would call him to let him know in the morning. At which point, she called me and asked me what I thought of the situation. I told her it was a bit odd to spend Christmas Day with someone you met two nights earlier, but f*ck it!! She gets to his house that afternoon, shortly before they had to take off to his friend's dinner party. At this time, he hands her a gift wrapped box. NATURALLY, she said she couldn't accept a gift because 1. They had just met 2. She clearly didn't get him anything. He pressures her to open it. Aaaaaand wait for it.....it's a f*cking diamond necklace!!! Wtf!! Who does that? Buy a woman you met two nights ago a diamond necklace?
First sign of a desperate man. Wait....lets re-track. Before they met, while they were exchanging emails, he told her how he had met another woman on this dating site just two weeks earlier and he really thought she could be the one. Another red flag. So, of course, she calls me and asks me what I think of the necklace. I laughed out loud. I jokingly told her to take the necklace and run in the opposite direction as fast as she could. But, my friend is very strong-willed and has a mind of her own. She stood by him and thought it was genuine and sincere. That same night(Christmas day eve), he tells her he is in love with her, and has never been more sure of anything in his life.
NATURALLY, she does not say it back. But, she did trust him enough to sleep with him(sex). The next morning, he asks her if they are now in a "relationship". "Are we boyfriend and girlfriend". And like ANY rational human being, she tells him that they should date for a few weeks. And re-open the discussion in a month. And NO, she did not take the necklace. She did not feel right about it. But, she did spend BOXING day with him on his boat. For those of you who do not know, Boxing day for the Brits is the day after Christmas Day. And yes, he is British.
They have a magical day together, and he again tells her that he has never been more sure of anything in his life and that he is in love with her. He starts asking her about what kind of wedding she wanted, and how many kids they were going to have. And she went along with it because let's face it.....she's a hopeless romantic. And a man who is confessing his undying love for a woman and telling them how he can't wait to be a father and yadda yadda yadda is hard to come by.....especially in this city.
So, yes....there was an argument that happened a few days later. They did not speak for a few days. But, on New Year's Eve day, they made up. He asked her to come over and make love to him. At which point, he asked her to please not break his heart. Mind you, they were having sex without condoms. Yes, I already told her she was an idiot for that. But, in her mind, he was a good and honest man. Now, they did not spend New Years Eve together because she was with me and the rest of her family. I actually spoke to Simon on the phone that night. But, he left the door open for her at his house.....which she never reached that night. But, she was a trooper, and got up the next day to go spend the first day of the New Year with him.
They apparently laid in bed all day drinking champagne and smoking weed. Telling each other their deepest secrets; he was molested as a young boy. I know she'll probably be pissed that I shared that secret, but I don't give a sh*t. This guy is a SCUMBAG!!! She also shared her deepest, darkest secrets....that very few people know about. I was friends with her for 5 years before I heard about it. Anyway, moving on...... She had mentioned at some point how she needed to get foot surgery. And he asked her to schedule it right away because she couldn't do it while she was pregnant. She had asked him to slow down and stop rushing it. Sure, she wants a family, but one week into meeting someone, you shouldn't be planning a pregnancy.
I don't care if it is your f*cking soulmate. It's NOT NORMAL!!! But, again they were having sex without protection AND yes, he was c*mming inside of her. I have to admit, she wasn't being very rational either. But, he was doing a really good job convincing her that they were going to live happily ever after. God, there are so many more details I want to write, but maybe I'll write them in my next book. Because this story is pretty incredible. Sooooooo, she leaves his house on Monday, January 2nd. They speak a few times that day, and the next two days where they exchanged cute txts to one another. She had a friend visiting and staying with her for a few days. So, she spent the next two days with her. On January 3rd, my poor friend had a terrible situation arise.
Something that snuck up on her from the past. She didn't want to involve Simon, but felt the need to share that something was happening and she needed a few days to figure it out. They spoke on the 4th at which point she shared what the situation was. Which is tough for a strong, independent woman. But, he promised not to judge. He asked her when he could see her. And she said she wasn't sure. She needed some time to figure it all out, but to please understand and be patient with her. They spoke on the evening of January 6th a Friday night.
I was actually with her then as well. And I asked how everything was. She said he was great and that he is amazing and she felt very lucky to have met him. She didn't hear from him all weekend which she thought was strange. She called him on Sunday and he didn't answer, so she left a msg. Didn't hear back from him so on Tuesday, the 10th, she sent him a txt asking why he was ignoring her. He wrote back apologizing saying that he wasn't, but he was busy with work. Again, she thought it was a little bizarre. I mean, a man who claims that he's in love with you and wants to be the father of your children, and wants to do so many amazing things together.....should have time to pick up the phone.
So, the next day, she txted him asking him what was going on. Wait for it....... Wait for it.......This f*cking guy texts her back saying he's sorry, but his friend and his friend's wife introduced him to a girl who is he was on a "falling in love journey" with. And proceeds to pretty much repeat everything he told my friend, except about another girl. He didn't even have the decency to pick up the phone. So, she immediately calls him and asks if he's joking. And lo and behold, he says "I've never been so sure of anything in my life". This guy can't even come up with a new catch phrase. He literally repeated verbatim, everything he had told her the week before. I mean, on the Monday of that same week, he asked my friend to schedule her surgery so that they didn't have to worry if she got pregnant. F*CKING PSYCHO SCUMBAG!!
Obviously, this "NEW GIRL" is falling for all the same bullsh*t that my friend fell for. And I am not at all blaming the new girl. This guy is good! My friend is a no bullsh*t type of gal. So, if she fell for it, anyone can fall for it. This guy even sheds tears of joy to express how happy he is. What woman wouldn't fall for that. Listen, I can appreciate a man who is ready to settle down. But, what I do NOT appreciate or respect is telling every woman you meet that they are your soulmate and that they are the "ONE".
Also, something else I should mention; he plays the victim. So, the way he started it off with my friend is by telling her how bummed he was about the girl before. Because he really believed she could be something special. But, then he says "everything happens for a reason because I was able to meet you because of it". I am betting he told the "New Girl" the same thing. And I can tell you right now that this guy who claims to be all confident is nothing but an insecure p***y. The minute my friend txted him saying that she was going to need some time, he was ready and open to meeting the next soulmate. Because he has a plan; "to be married and have a child before the end of the year."
Which means he has to work quickly. To be a bit more sensitive about this, my friend was truly disappointed. She believed him when he told her that he was in love with her. And that he had never been more sure of anything in his life And that he wanted to get her pregnant. She even scheduled the d*mn surgery!!!! Now, if the NEW GIRL is by chance reading this, be warned and wear a f*cking condom. This guy is clearly not careful. And all I know about is my friend and the girl who came a week before her. This is all in a one month time period. It's MENTAL. But, i am betting there are more. I am also betting he said some very similar things to the girl who came before my friend. So, NEW GIRL, no offense, but all of those magical things you're hearing from Simon, were said to another girl the week before. And he is not a victim.
He's just in a rush. Also, what he said he found appealing about you is that you're family lived 45 minutes outside of Venice. And that you told him your father would be his best friend. Because poor Simon...his father is dead and his sister is a drug addict. So, he craves a new family. F*ck you, Simon. You're an a**hole. And I truly believe Karma will one day repay you. He said that not having a father, he has really always wanted a girl with a family nearby. Sadly, my friend couldn't offer him that. So, I know this is not your fault. But, do yourself a favor, go find your real soulmate. Not someone whose willing to give that honor to anyone/everyone. I am not a hater. Or vengeful. Or spiteful. But, I am a good guy. And I have never been so disgusted or repulsed by a man's actions as I am about this guy.
Don't be the naive girl who wants to believe...... H*ll.....if my friend would have accepted the "relationship" status he offered her, she may still be with him. But, she was smart not to rush into it. And I am so happy this happened now, and not down the line. Don't get me wrong, Simon probably would marry you and have kids with you. But, you'll have to live with knowing that he would have done the same with the girl before had she not asked for open-ended time, and the girl after, and the girl after that. I really hate to rain on your parade because you're probably as great a girl as my friend is. But, you are not special. You just happened to meet a guy whose in a crazy rush to meet his happy ever after....... I'm sorry. THE END. Look for my book on shelves in the next two years. This story is too good. Hmmmmm....maybe a movie in the near future as well.