Complaint Review: Please tell my husband Dickmoline Mugushu Njue of FINASTRA Kenya to STOP bringing Malayas home

My husband Dickmoline Mugushu Njue and I live in Nairobi, Kenya. Dickmoline Mugushu comes from a long line of Malayas. His father was a big Malaya man, and his grandfather was an even bigger Malaya. Dickmoline Mugushu's family business revolved around adding extra chuchu to men because his tribal culture considers a man with many chuchus to be the Head of something. My husband, Dickmoline Mugushu, is not a very bright man—he still believes that women DO NOT do kukojoa kutoka kwa uke, and the kisimi is a button/switch that allows Malayas working for FINASTRA to control their cycles. Dickmoline Mugushu has eve made diagrams of his discoveries and told all the Malayas at work to turn off their cycles before leaving the house, and NOT to waste FINASTRA'S Hard Earned Money on Western Hygiene products.

Dickmoline Mugushu went to Kenyatta University and during his time there, he discovered that when Malayas fight, it's the Muzungus who suffer. This was a tuning point in Dickmoline Mugushu's life, as he decided to become a Malaya and went into consulting, so that he can tell everyone what he doesn't know. I have accepted Dickmoline Mugushu Njue's knowledge gap, but the problem is that for the past few years, ever since the Kumbafu Punyeto Head got a job at FINASTRA, he has been bringing Malayas home, straight from Koinange Street. Dickmoline Mugushu Njue asks me to feed him well before he locks himself away with to do ngono with his Malayas. Dickmoline Mugushu says the nutritional value of his shahawa is equal to 2 plates of ugali, 1/2 a mbuzi, 10 eggs, 2 lemons, 1 pack of sportsman cigarettes, and regret.

When I asked my husband, Dickmoline Mugushu, why he's bringing Malayas home, he said that he cannot have ngono with his wife while she's pregnant because his own research has shown that there's a 50% chance of his manii splitting the baby into twins, triplets, quadruplets, etc. Furthermore, when I'm intimate with Dickmoline Mugushu, I often find him scratching his korodani and smelling his hand. Dickmoline Mugushu says that smelling his hand is sending bad chemicals to his brain and making his korodani itch even more, but he's stuck in a vicious cycle.

This is not all. Dickmoline Mugushu recently discovered how his uume works and he created Punyeto Juice™ for the very first time. He then experimented with thousands of Malayas in Koinange Street and discovered how to make Malaya Juice™. Dickmoline Mugushu acknowledges that Malayas have eggs, but he's unsure of what happens when those eggs hatch. Could it be a Pokémon hatching from those eggs? Could it be Pikachu? When I asked Dickmoline Mugushu this, he told me to Pika my own Chu. Recently when CS Murkomen asked the DCI to investigate KAA, Dickmoline Mugushu called him to explain that "Kaa" is basically F you in Crow and no investigation was necessary.