Complaint Review: The Penile Plethysmograph

Conversion therapy made a great leap when patients no longer had to imagine homosexual or heterosexual acts, but could view them in real time via pornography while their penises were strapped into brass tubes. Kurt Freund became the new king of conversion therapy by inventing the Penile Plethysmograph in Czechoslovakia. He cribbed together a lie detector test outfitted with tubes for the insertion of a p***s.

The communist regime wanted a “Fruit Machine” to identify straight men trying to avoid the draft by claiming they were homosexuals — who were excluded from service. Any Czech man of military age claiming to be gay was hooked up by their p***s to the Penile Plethysmograph and shown naked pictures of their more comely female comrades in provocative poses. As their penises rose their hopes of avoiding the Iron Curtain war machine sank.

Meanwhile, the Canadian government had declared homosexuality a mental illness and sodomy a crime and was searching for its own “Fruit Machine.” At one point every known homosexual man in Ottawa was under surveillance by the local police and this set the standard for later sex offender registration laws. Fruend quickly accepted an invitation to become director of the Clarke Institute in Toronto and employ his fruit machine, The Penile Plethysmograph, for the Canadians and their American conversion therapy counterparts.

He rebranded the Penile Plethysmograph for gay men by combining it with aversion therapy showing them hot gay sex and having them electrically shocked and/or sniff ammonia and then showing them hot straight sex as the ammonia and shocks stopped. Patients were so traumatized by the viewing of both types of pornography and the shocks and nausea that they discovered Sudafed kills erections and began taking it before Penile Plethsymogrpah sessions to ensure they stayed flaccid in the hopes that no sexual arousal would be viewed favorably by Fruend and his growing roster of therapists. In fact, they did view it as an intermittent level of adjustment from homosexuality to heterosexuality. 

BTI Monarch now holds the patent on this junk science and is making a fortune selling it to states and cities desperate to contin sex offenders. Only problem is it doens't work and it's common for the counter to the test to be written on sex offender treatment center bathroom walls: Sudafed.