Complaint Review:
Tocco Pizza Chicago
Decided to order from this newly opened fast food joint and I hate to say it, but.......this was by far the worst decision I've ever made! Well, the decision to get circumsized twice was bad, but this was worse.
How do you screw up a cheeseburger and onion rings? You advertise "panko breaded" onion rings, but all I got were battered, chewy, extremely greasy onions shoved in a bag with absolutely no flavor. And the cheeseburger?!! Don't get me started on this disgusting patty of dead cow. I ordered the "Juicy Burger" and it was neither juicy, nor did it even come close to resembling a burger. I'd like to rename the burger, "The Roadkill Burger" because it tasted like something that had been hit by a car and left on the side of the road to die under the unrelenting heat of the summer sun, while vultures circled above, dropping heaping bombs of vulture poop.....well you get the point. And what was up with that brioche bun they served the roadkill on? The bread did absolutely NOTHING to hide the awful flavor, but what it did do was make my jaw hurt from all that chewing since the bread was stale and extremely dense.
I also had a coupon for a free red velvet cupcake with my purchase. Guess what? There were no red velvet cupcakes to be had. Instead, they had chocolate cupcakes topped with icing that was so sugary sweet and dense that it reminded me of sweetened caulk. I kid you not when I say that the texture of the icing was off putting to say the least. Shouldn't icing be creamy and light? The icing was anti-creamy and anti-light, but very pro-kaka and pro-vomit inducing. I just chucked it in the trash after the first bite. If you're going to advertise red velvet cupcakes to this Southern boy, you better have some ready to go or I'm going to open up a big ol' can of redneck whoopass.
In addition to the awful food, this joint was dirty to the point that their roaches were packing up their bags to leave. Yeah, it was that filthy. Tables were either sticky or greasy, as was the floor and I dared not to go to the bathroom to even find out what lurked inside. If I had an upset stomach and this place was the only public bathroom in the area, I would've rather soiled my pants.
Suffice it to say, I will never come back and that's a fact jack!!!! Peace out suckas!