Complaint Review: TRUTH COMMON SENSE AND WISDOM

Dear entire world:

THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH SO HELP YOU. DO AS YOU SAY, NOT SAY AS YOU DO. DO UNTO OTHERS, AS YOU WOULD WANT DONE UNTO YOU. CHOOSE TO WAKE UP ON ONE DAY, AND FORGET EVERY THING THAT YOU WERE ALWAYS WORRYING OR STRESSING ABOUT, JUST TRY TO LET IT BE REPLACED WITH POSITIVE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT. LET GO AND TRUST FULLY, 100%. REMIND YOURSELF, WHEN YOU START BEING CRITICAL OF SOMEBODY ELSE, NO MATTER WHO IT IS, THAT BEING CRITICAL AND JUDGING THEM, OR EVEN HAVING AN OPINION ABOUT THEM OR ANYTHING THEY DO, THINK, SAY..ETC...REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE HERE ON THIS EARTH FOR A PURPOSE. I DIDNT KNOW WHAT MY PURPOSE IN LIFE WAS FOR TEN YEARS. IT TOOK TEN YEARS, MY DAD DYING, DRUG ADDICTION, TOO MANY CIGARETTES, TOO MUCH PEPSI, TOO MUCH TANNING, GUILT, SHAME, BITTERNESS, RESENTMENT, ANGER AND SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS..I REALIZED, I AM THE MOST SELFISH, INSENSITIVE PERSON ON THIS ENTIRE EARTH. BUT THATS BEING AFTER I REALIZED WHAT MY PURPOSE IS, AND FEELING NOTHING BUT A SENSE OF DIRECTION IN LIFE. I STILL LAUGH, CRY, GET UPSET AND I ADMIT, I CANT WALK AWAY FROM THINGS OR PEOPLE THAT I REALLY LOVE AND CARE ABOUT. I TEND TO PLACE MYSELF IN THEIR OWN SHOES, AND I HAVE A SENSE OF UNDERSTANDING..SOMETIMES THE EMOTION IS SO STRONG, THAT IT HURTS DEEP DOWN IN MY GUT..A REAL UMPH FEELING. AND THE TEARS FLOW...I ACTUALLY CRY OFTEN, BUT ITS NOT SADNESS ENTIRELY. A LOT OF IT HAPPENS WHEN AN UNDERSTANDING COMES OVER ME. IT JUST MAKES SENSE, AND EVERYTHING AROUND THAT UNDERSTANDING, FALLS INTO ITS PERFECT PLACE. IT COMFORTS YOU, YOU FIND STRENGTH EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY BE IN A DARK PLACE AND READY TO GIVE UP, AND YOU REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T AFRAID ANYMORE. I WANT TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. I WANT THEM TO BE THEMSELVES AND HONEST, WITH OTHERS AND THEMSELVES. EVEN IF ITS SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE REALLY EMBARASSED OR ASHAMED ABOUT, I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE YOU, THAT IF YOU TELL THE TRUTH FROM THE BEGINNING...ITD BE A UTOPIA( PERFECT WORLD), BUT THIS IS AN UGLY, CRUEL SICKENING WORLD..WHAT IS REASSURING IS THAT ITS NOT TOO LATE. EVEN IF YOU'VE HAD GUILT OR SHAME FOR DISHONESTY WITH YOURSELF OR SOMEBODY ELSE...SAY IT ANYWAYS, BE BLUNT ABOUT IT. MAKE IT SHORT AND SIMPLE. BLACK AND WHITE WITH A GRAY-ISH AREA. ONCE YOU FEEL HOW RELIEVING AND BURDEN-LIFTING IT IS OFF OF YOUR SHOULDERS, IT BECOMES SOMETHING THAT YOU DO EVERY DAY, EVEN WHEN YOU TRY TO TELL A LIE, THE TRUTH SLIPS OUT..IF NOT DIRECTLY AFTER A WHITE LIE. SOMETIMES, YOU SPEAK WORDS THAT YOU CANT HEAR YOURSELF SAY, THEY JUST COME OUT AS NOISE. YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT IT WAS THAT YOU JUST SAID, BECOMES YOU ARE AWARE OF THE WISDOM. DONT OVERANALYZE IT. JUST KIND OF GO TO A QUIET PLACE, WHERE YOU CAN BREATHE IN FRESH AIR, STAND OR SIT VERY STILL, AND NOT SPEAK. JUST LOOK AROUND, AND IF YOU WANT, PRAY OR TALK OUTLOUD TO YOUR HIGHER POWER OR TO A DECEASED FAMILY MEMBER. I CAN ALSO PROMISE YOU THAT YOU GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR IN LIFE. YOU WILL RECEIVE. OTHERS GET THE BAD BEFORE THE GOOD AND SOME GET THE GOOD BEFORE THE BAD. I GREW UP AND LIVED MY ENTIRE LIFE, FIGURING IT OUT AND WAITING FOR THE WONDERFUL END AT THE AGE OF 27. I THINK I MIGHT HAVE AROUND 2 MONTHS BEFORE SOMETHING ENDS, IM JUST NOT SURE WHAT YET. I JUST FEEL LIKE, IM READY TO GO HOME. TO THE HOME THAT MY DAD HAS PREPARED IN HEAVEN, THAT WE WILL GET TO GO TO AFTER HE GUIDES ME THERE. BECAUSE LETS JUST BE HONEST, I HAVE TWO LEFT FEET AND NO SENSE OF DIRECTION. I THINK ID RATHER WALK, NO CORVETTE, NO FASHIONABLE CLOTHES AND HAIR PRODUCTS, NO HEAVY MAKE UP OR TANNING BEDS. I WONT WORRY ABOUT MY HYGIENE. OR MAYBE THAT IS JUST HOW YOU FEEL IN THE END, WHEN YOU ARE SO COMFORTABLE AND READY TO GO. THERE ARE DAYS WHEN YOU DONT WANT TO SLEEP, AND EVEN IF YOUR TIRED, YOU THINK, WHAT IS THE POINT? THERE IS NOTHING THAT I CAN DO RIGHT NOW ABOUT THE SITUATION I AM IN. I WILL JUST TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME DAY BY DAY. ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW..I MEAN KNOW SOMEBODYS SOUL, BEFORE YOU PASS AWAY. GET TO KNOW PEOPLE. EVEN IF ITS JUST YOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY. THEN MAYBE IT WOULDN'T TAKE A LIFETIME TO RECONNECT. BECAUSE SOMEDAY, SOONER THAN LATER IM SURE, ONE OF THEM WILL BE SITTING WHERE IM SITTING OR IN THEIR OWN HOMES, AND ILL BE WITH THEM..MAKING IT REALLY OBVIOUS. ITS POSSIBLE. MY DAD IS WITH ME CONSTANTLY. MY UNCLE DALE LIKES TO PRETEND LIKE HES RANDY AND MAKE ME LAUGH. AND OCCASIONALLY, MY AUNT CANDY (CANDISE) WILL VISIT ME AND THE ONLY WAY I KNOW SHE IS NEAR IS BY A CERTAIN SMELL...ITS NOT A ONE OR TWO NOTE SMELL, ITS JUST A SMELL THAT REMINDS ME OF A MEMORY BACK IN CHILDHOOD. AND INSTANTLY I CONNECT IT TO HER, SO ALSO, DONT SECOND GUESS YOURSELF CONSTANTLY. WHEN YOU DECIDE TO DO SOMETHING OR SAY SOMETHING, JUST SAY OR DO IT, DONT APOLOGIZE FOR IT EITHER. I THINK WHEN PEOPLE ARE REALLY PISSED OFF OR SAD, THAT THE TRUE THEM SHINES THROUGH. DONT APOLOGIZE FOR THINGS YOU SAY WHEN YOUR UPSET OR PISSED, LAUGH ABOUT THOSE THINGS LATER...OR JUST DRAW WISDOM FROM WHAT YOU SAID TO THEM, MAYBE SOMETHING IN YOUR OWN LIFE YOU CAN CHAGE, LIKE TAKING YOUR OWN ADVICE. ITS ALSO EASY TO ONLY BECOME THE ACTIVE LISTENER AND NOT THE VOCALIST. NOT JUST THE LOUD VOCALIST AND A DISCONNECTED LISTENER. PEOPLE WANT TO BE HEARD, THEY WANT TO CONNECT TO OTHER PEOPLE, EVEN IF JUST ONE. WELL..I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THAT BUT I HAVE A NEVER ENDING VOID TO FILL WITH A MAN THAT BRINGS ME TO TEARS WHEN I NOTICE HIM IN HIS EVER SO INNOCENT CHILD LIKE STATE, YOU CAN SEE THE VULNERABILITY IN HIM, AND ITS EASIER TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS THAT ACHES AND PAINS HIS HEART AND SOUL. I KNOW HIS REASONS, AND NONE OF THEM UPSET ME. I JUST KNOW, IT IS THE WAY IT IS. AND A LOT OF IT IS MY FAULT TOO. BUT IM DOING SOMETHING THAT HES NEVER TAKEN ON AS AN OPPORTUNITY. HE IS GETTING HIS BACHELORS IN PSYCHOLOGY. HE HAS TO, NEEDS TO START IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS, AND STAY MOTIVATED TO COMPLETE. WHETHER YOUR BUYING NEAT LITTLE GADGETS THAT MAKE THE COURSE WORK MORE EXCITING, OR JUST ACT EXCITED ABOUT WHAT YOUR HELPING HIM DO, EVEN IF YOU'D RATHER BE ANYWHERE ELSE. THEN HE WILL HAVE MORE OF AN INITIATIVE TO FINISH IT WHEN YOUR GONE. :) I DONT SEE A LOT OF GUILT OR SHAME CONNECTED TO OUR RELATIONSHIP. IT JUST, EXISTS. I FEEL AS THOUGH I CANNOT SAY GOOD OR BAD EITHER WAY. AND NOW IF I DONT WANT TO DO SOMETHING AND WOULD RATHER DO WHAT I WANT TO DO, SAY WHAT I WANT TO SAY OR TAKE WHAT I WANT TO TAKE, OR DRINK WHAT I WANT TO DRINK OR SMOKE WHAT I WANT TO SMOKE OR LISTEN TO WHAT I WANT TO LISTEN TO, OR TYPE WHAT I WANT TO TYPE OR SIT DOWN AND WRITE WHAT I WANT TO, OR LAND ON A VERSE AND KNOW IT WILL SPEAK TO ME AND MY LIFE IN THAT MOMENT. SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO WHEN YOU START FEELING HOPELESS OR DEAD INSIDE. YOU MAY NEVER BE TRULEY HAPPY AGAIN IN LIFE, OR FEEL AS ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT ANOTHER PERSON, AND MAYBE YOU DONT REALLY WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THEIR DAY, LIFE, OR WHAT THEIR PROBLEM IS THAT DAY....TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, ID RATHER NOT HEAR IT AS OF TODAY. I WILL LISTEN AND TALK TO ONE PERSON AND THAT IS IT. THAT IS MITCHELL. MAY HE READ OVER THIS SOME DAY AND LIKE I SAY EVERY TIME HE READS SOMETHING I WRITE, I HOPE HE FEELS THE WORDS, OR CONNECT WITH THEM, MAKE SENSE TO HIM...GIVE HIM HOPE FOR TOMORROW. OR JUST REALIZE THAT AFTERALL...IT TURNS OUT ALL THE TIME HE WAS THINKING HE'D HAVE TO SETTLE AND THAT HIS PAST WOULD PREVENT HIM FROM FUTURE OPPORTUNITIES. I HAVE THE SAME TROUBLES WITH MY PAST (EXACT) I WANTED TO FEEL AS CLOSE AND EQUAL TO HIM AS I POSSIBLY COULD, BECAUSE I COULD TELL HE WAS REALLY LIKE A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP. JUST BE APPRECIATIVE. BE THANKFUL FOR THE TIME THAT IS IF EVER AT ALL SPARED IN YOUR LIFETIME. AND BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT OTHERS DO FOR YOU, EVEN IF YOU THINK THAT IT WASNT A STRUGGLE FOR THEM TO HELP YOU, IT MAY HAVE BEEN. ITS JUST THAT OTHERS ARE BETTER AT HIDING THEIR STRUGGLES. THEN THEY END UP BREAKING DOWN CRYING TO THEIR DAUGHTER LIKE A TEENAGE BOY WHEN THEY FINALLY BREAK. VICE VERSA. IF YOU DO WATCH TV, RECORD THINGS THAT YOU THINK SHOULDNT BE HEARD OR SEEN. ESPECIALLY IF YOU THINK ITS HARASSMENT FOR BEING TOO INTELLIGENT. OR BULLYING AND HARASSMENT FOR BEING THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH YOU KNOW WHO HAS TAKEN ACCOUNTABILITY WITHOUT REWARD. I WILL GIVE BACK TO YOU TWICE. TANGIBLE IS ALWAYS LOGICAL. BECAUSE WHEN YOU GO THROUGH THE DOUBT EVERYTHING AND QUESTION AND BE OPEN MINDED PHASE, YOU'LL HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING TANGIBLE AND CONCRETE TO HOLD ONTO. WHETHER ITS A BELIEF, A BOOK OR AN ECLIPSE MP3 PLAYER AND YOU DANCE AROUND LIKE A OFF BEAT ROBOT. IF YOU GET FUNNY LOOKS FROM THE MAN IN THE ROOM WITH YOU OR WHEN HE WALKS PAST YOU, JUST SMILE AND KEEP DANCING, OR DANCE WITH HIM. DONT STOP, IT SUCKS WHEN THE BEAT DISAPPEARS AND EVENTUALLY THE MELODY IS HEARD IN FRAGMENTS. LIKE A CD THATS ALL SCRATCHED UP AND YOU KEEP WAITING TO HEAR THE GOOD PART. EVENTUALLY YOU JUST GET FRUSTRATED AND YOU'LL TURN IT UNTIL YOU FIND A SONG YOU CAN HEAR WITH A MELODY AND BEAT...THEN REALIZE YOU SHOULD TAKE CARE OF YOUR CDS AND THEY WONT GET SCRATCHED. THATS WISDOM. YOU MAKE YOUR EVERY CHOICE. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO TRUST YOURSELF. IT WOULDNT HAVE MATTERED IF YOU CHOSE TO DO SOMETHING RIGHT AFTER THE OTHER, YOU'LL FUFILL YOUR PURPOSE, AND LIVE LIFE AT THE EXACT PACE OF LIFE THAT YOU ARE INTENDED TO. SOMETIMES YOU GET MORE THAN ONE PURPOSE, YOU CAN SEE WHAT SOMEBODY ELSES WAS. AND HOW THEIR PURPOSE WAS FUFILLED. MY DAD WANTED TO HAVE HIS LOOKS I THINK...WEAR HIS FLANNELS. WHETHER YOUR PASSED ON AND WAITING FOR A LOVED ONE, OR STILL LIVING OUT YOUR PURPOSE, THERE ARE ANGELS ON EARTH TOO. JUST PLEASE DONT DISREGARD THEM AS NIEVE, INCOMPETENT, OR CLOSE MINDED. DONT SHUT THEM OUT, AT LEAST GIVE THEM A CHANCE. NOT ANYBODY OR ANYTHING ELSE. GIVE THAT PERSON A CHANCE IN THIS LIFETIME TO LIVE IT WITH YOU COMPLETING YOUR PURPOSE OR YOU SEEING OVER THEIR OWN. MY SISTER ASHLEY HAS ALWAYS BEEN A ROLE MODEL, I LOOKED UP TO TO EMULATE. MY BROTHER RANDY IS MY HERO AND NEEDS TO BE AWARE THAT HES ALREADY SAVED A LIFE. MY MOTHER, IM SORRY WE COULDNT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. I REGRET NOT TRYING TO PRY INTO YOUR HEAD AND SOUL, BUT I THINK I UNDERSTAND AT THIS POINT. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US, IS THAT ILL GO TO THE EXTREME OF PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL BEFORE I GIVE UP ON LOVE IN LIFE. THEN I JUST LET LOVE BE. AND LOVE WILL NEVER LET ME GO. GOODBYE.