Mike
River Edge,#2Consumer Suggestion
Sun, July 02, 2006
In the eyes of the law, yes they are separate. However, the law treats the situations differently. Let me first say that my child support comes out of my paycheck by law in NJ, and I have never ever been delayed/late/missing any payment ever. That being said, let me clue you in on a few realities. 1. On numerous occasions my ex refused to give my child to me. When I called the police and they showed up, they informed me that "my child didn't want to see me and they cannot make them come with me" and I would have to get my lawyer to take her to court. Of course I know of cases where one support payment is missed and the father is arrested. Fair? No. But it happens all the time. Yes, they are two issues, but not in the eyes of most ex's, male or female 2. As for the father filing for custody,. oh please. The reality is the courts are so skewed towards mothers getting custody a father has absolutely no chance. 3. Many ex's tell the child bad things about the other "your father/mother doesn't want to see you, they don't like you, etc" resulting in parental alienation syndrome. Read up on it, there are some disturbing cases out there. I understand what you are saying, and it should be that way, but the reality is it isn't.
Laura
Lebanon,#3Consumer Comment
Sat, July 01, 2006
If a father filed for visitation rights, and the mother is non-compliant with the ruling (ie. will not allow visitation) a father can take this back to court, and gain further visitation, if this continues to be a non-compliance act on the mother's part, the father has the right to file for custody. Due to large amounts of child support obligations? Child support, and visitation are considered seperate in the eyes of the law. (ie. if a non-custodial parent is not current in payment, the custodial parent cannot deny access to visitation)
Mike
River Edge,#4Consumer Comment
Fri, June 30, 2006
Laura, Yes there are court to handle custody disputes. However, usually due to large child support obligations the father is unable to have a prolonged court case. If the mother chooses to block access, there really isn'tmuch a father can do.
Laura
Lebanon,#5Consumer Comment
Wed, June 28, 2006
It seems you are the child torn between two parents. Your story went from one side to the next. The truth of the matter is if your father wanted a relationship with you he could have taken it to court and had one. That was not up to your mother to decide. I don't want to get in the middle of this, but I wanted to tell you that a father who doesn't know his child yet opts to raise another usually is a father who would be considered to have abandoned his biological child. If a relationship is what he wanted, there are and were courts for that. Now, it does matter, but you cannot take back the past, all you can do is look towards the future, and see what is worth your own efforts. I wish your whole entire family peace. But mostly I wish this for you personally, as the scars are already there. Compassion and understanding are truly needed from your family to you at this time. All the best-
Laura
Lebanon,#6Consumer Comment
Wed, June 28, 2006
It seems you are the child torn between two parents. Your story went from one side to the next. The truth of the matter is if your father wanted a relationship with you he could have taken it to court and had one. That was not up to your mother to decide. I don't want to get in the middle of this, but I wanted to tell you that a father who doesn't know his child yet opts to raise another usually is a father who would be considered to have abandoned his biological child. If a relationship is what he wanted, there are and were courts for that. Now, it does matter, but you cannot take back the past, all you can do is look towards the future, and see what is worth your own efforts. I wish your whole entire family peace. But mostly I wish this for you personally, as the scars are already there. Compassion and understanding are truly needed from your family to you at this time. All the best-
Laura
Lebanon,#7Consumer Comment
Wed, June 28, 2006
It seems you are the child torn between two parents. Your story went from one side to the next. The truth of the matter is if your father wanted a relationship with you he could have taken it to court and had one. That was not up to your mother to decide. I don't want to get in the middle of this, but I wanted to tell you that a father who doesn't know his child yet opts to raise another usually is a father who would be considered to have abandoned his biological child. If a relationship is what he wanted, there are and were courts for that. Now, it does matter, but you cannot take back the past, all you can do is look towards the future, and see what is worth your own efforts. I wish your whole entire family peace. But mostly I wish this for you personally, as the scars are already there. Compassion and understanding are truly needed from your family to you at this time. All the best-
Bridget
My Town,#8Author of original report
Wed, May 17, 2006
Proper spelling would be Charlie McConnell. Contact and communication was limited by Mom, Dad tried. I don't think I would call Dad a "millionaire", just middle class. Dad did not hang up on me, Mom refused to let me call him. I had plenty of pencils in school... my grandparents saw to that. My mom did get child support, I can't guarantee how regular it was, I don't know. As a teenager, I know it came regularly because I got the checks out of the mailbox. Yes, I moved 500 miles away as an adult so that I could get to know my Dad and so that my kids could get to know him, but I did not move back home because I hated him. I moved back for other personal reasons that had nothing to do with him. It's amazing how even in adulthood, people will try to alienate me from my Dad and leave me to try to defend my opportunity at a relationship with him. I love both my parents and that is MY choice to make.
Bridget
My Town,#9Author of original report
Wed, May 17, 2006
Proper spelling would be Charlie McConnell. Contact and communication was limited by Mom, Dad tried. I don't think I would call Dad a "millionaire", just middle class. Dad did not hang up on me, Mom refused to let me call him. I had plenty of pencils in school... my grandparents saw to that. My mom did get child support, I can't guarantee how regular it was, I don't know. As a teenager, I know it came regularly because I got the checks out of the mailbox. Yes, I moved 500 miles away as an adult so that I could get to know my Dad and so that my kids could get to know him, but I did not move back home because I hated him. I moved back for other personal reasons that had nothing to do with him. It's amazing how even in adulthood, people will try to alienate me from my Dad and leave me to try to defend my opportunity at a relationship with him. I love both my parents and that is MY choice to make.
Bridget
My Town,#10Author of original report
Wed, May 17, 2006
Proper spelling would be Charlie McConnell. Contact and communication was limited by Mom, Dad tried. I don't think I would call Dad a "millionaire", just middle class. Dad did not hang up on me, Mom refused to let me call him. I had plenty of pencils in school... my grandparents saw to that. My mom did get child support, I can't guarantee how regular it was, I don't know. As a teenager, I know it came regularly because I got the checks out of the mailbox. Yes, I moved 500 miles away as an adult so that I could get to know my Dad and so that my kids could get to know him, but I did not move back home because I hated him. I moved back for other personal reasons that had nothing to do with him. It's amazing how even in adulthood, people will try to alienate me from my Dad and leave me to try to defend my opportunity at a relationship with him. I love both my parents and that is MY choice to make.
Bridget
My Town,#11Author of original report
Wed, May 17, 2006
Proper spelling would be Charlie McConnell. Contact and communication was limited by Mom, Dad tried. I don't think I would call Dad a "millionaire", just middle class. Dad did not hang up on me, Mom refused to let me call him. I had plenty of pencils in school... my grandparents saw to that. My mom did get child support, I can't guarantee how regular it was, I don't know. As a teenager, I know it came regularly because I got the checks out of the mailbox. Yes, I moved 500 miles away as an adult so that I could get to know my Dad and so that my kids could get to know him, but I did not move back home because I hated him. I moved back for other personal reasons that had nothing to do with him. It's amazing how even in adulthood, people will try to alienate me from my Dad and leave me to try to defend my opportunity at a relationship with him. I love both my parents and that is MY choice to make.
Lori
Jones,#12UPDATE Employee
Tue, April 04, 2006
I can't believe people like that, he can raise someone else's child but not his own. I feel that people who have babies and don't care for them and neglect them should be made to where they can never have children again.