- Report: #654636
Complaint Review: Shannon Graham Life Coach - Internet Internet
Reported By:
Mike -
Redondo Beach, California, U.S.A.
Submitted:
Updated:
-
Author Confirmed
Why?
Shannon Graham Life Coach
Internet, Internet, United States of America
Phone:
Web:
www.321lifecoach.com
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Shannon Graham Life Coach Shannon Graham - Scam Coach , Internet
This person has no business doing life coaching. He is in his mid-twenties, has no credentials, and charges wild amounts of money when he has no clue how to help people. Almost cost me my relationship.
To start, I became interested in life coaching to help in my relationship with my partner of several years. I did not choose to pursue the avenue of traditional therapy out of stupidity mostly and a resistance to doing all that dredging up of past issues. I was taking a "short cut" and believed because the work seemed to be about getting results sooner rather than later that it would be ideal for my partner and I. We didn't have much time, and my partner had been resistant to this process in the first place. We needed a little jump start on our communication and finding more time together. That was all.
Shannon has a very nice manner and easily comes across as likeable. When I had my first consultation he seemed very certain of his abilities as a coach and his ability to help my partner and I get more out of the relationship. Our first sessions were okay and he polished off some catch phrases and told me how to make small adjustments that seemed to work.
My partner and I never saw Shannon together and after 4 sessions, it became clear he ran out of road and competency. My partner and I were very "complex" people in the mind of this so called life coach. There is great love between my partner and I. She is my dearest friend and we have the usual bickering of most couples who have been together for years. But there is nothing fatal in our union. We're opposites in many ways, but we bring out great qualities in one another.
When Shannon couldn't understand our dynamic he revealed his youth and after only 4 sessions suggested that I could find someone who made me happier. (Not so I assure you) That I should either change all my beliefs I had spent the last 40 years creating and only then would we progress in our work with him. He went on to say if we were unable or unready at the current moment to agree to change, then we should end it now and spare both of us heartache. ALARM BELLS SOUNDED.
I would like to mention he did this all so subtly and slick I had no clue any of this was going on. Man, do I feel like a chump. Shannon proceeded to pick apart our relationship, by never seeing us together, encouraging us to come up with outrageous expectations and demand them from our partner or walk... His solutions were not solutions at all but a means for destroying in 4 weeks what it had taken many, many years to build.
We wanted a boost not to be taken for a lot of money by someone who really had no training upon exploration, no degree, and no understanding of human emotions or basic Psychology. My own knowledge of Psychology alerted me to the fact that this man was manipulating our emotions so we would need to continue to see him independently, and if his strategy worked we would break up in little over a month and pay double to see him as individual clients. He told us we would be fine after breaking up-what was this guy on? And that with his help (and a couple more thousand dollars I'm certain) we would each live happy and fulfilled lives. He caused a major fight between my partner and myself where we felt our only choice was to break up. It seemed totally unnatual and out of the blue as we had been doing better than ever in the weeks leading up to this horrid incident.
And let me not forget to mention HE NEVER SAW US AS A COUPLE. The most inexperienced of counselors can tell you that this is against any model of progress. Without seeing a couple with one another you cannot see all the love, charm, and dynamics at play. It is all to easy to get us to complain individually if we are lead to trust someone.
He does what so many con artists of his kind have done before. He isolates, earns peoples trust, and cleverly pits people against one another leading them to believe it was their own decision. His solutions did not work for us and we walked away from this boy at once.
This was a horrible experience. I had to see a Psychologist afterwards to get my bearings as I felt so emotionally and physically drained from almost losing the best friend I've ever known. Please be advised that life coaches I'm sure there are good ones, this one is clueless and destructive and looking to make some money off of vulnerable or trusting people. Almost ruined both our lives and the not so funny thing was we paid to go through this experience.
1 Updates & Rebuttals
Consumer
USABad Coaching Exp
#2Consumer Comment
Wed, October 27, 2010
I went through this but the details of my story were different. I'm sorry for your bad experience. You did get ripped-off. I know a lot about coaching now that I have done research so I can shed some light on this bad coaching exp and why it was wrong. You went for improvement as a couple, and you got someone who caused damage to what good was already there without understanding you or your signifigant other or your fears. He didn't have a degree, he's so young he doesn't really know anything about life and at that age has little to no real long term relationship experience.
A coach should never be pushing a couple so hard, independently of eachother for what were long-term desires not needs. Needs are: regular communication, undestanding, support, and seeing eachother. An example of a desire: I would love to be a billionaire, live in the Taj Mahal, and buy a new sports car everyday.
Because my girlfriend can't give me the latter does that mean, we are incompatible and should part ways? No.
Every couple has to navigate their differences over time and look at any long term partnership, marriage, relationship and they will tell you the same. At any given moment a couple is focused on different things. They are at different stages of their lives etc. They are in different moods. They might be wanting different things. One might want fame, the other might want stability. One might have a successful career, and the other might be making no money at all. These are not reasons to part ways, these are reasons to find bridges between these differences and give eachother support in what they are doing and wanting.
FYI Coaching was a term invented in "Hollywood". A lot of the practitioners were into spirtiuality and occultism, sometimes psychics would become "life coaches" as a way to make more money off. There are some who have a degree in Psychology background. But the ones who aren't are putting your emotional life in danger.
"In the past 10 years the field has expanded to a billion dollar industry. Get rich quick ads have promised people life and relationship coach training to 'get everything you want out of life' and have ironically targeted their ads to people who are themselves 'stuck', people who are looking for a new opportunity to make 'big bucks now'. People get to call themselves a life coach if they just place an ad in the paper or on-line."
Coaches are not a therapist-some don't even go through any training and get away with it. A coach should not be influencing you to make choices that will be traumatic or damaging to your emotional life. Anyone with training works slowly, making small behavioral adjustments. By pushing for more and actually cutting off vital connections because the coach doesn't know how to work slowly or to allow people time to change and find positive solutions is criminal.
You can't push people before they are ready. Not in so little time. You should never be seeing a couple without eachother. You need to get them talking together. It sounds like this coach saw you independently which shows he doesn't know anything about couples coaching. Heard your fears and frustrations-most people unload in their sessions-so it is not an accurate view of what's really going on. It's like venting.
He didn't get that Like you spoke about all couples are different. But the coach should be working to bring you together with small behavioral changes. Not pushing both people to make drastic changes. Not highlighting differences, but looking for common ground. You came as a couple and you should have left as a better couple who learned to compromise on your differences and talk with love and respect.
This inexperienced person 'therapy like' activities they are not a life coach, they are a danger to your mental health!
