Complaint Review: match.com - seattle Washington

FYI - My daughter is my step-daughter. I have only been married for 5 years.

FYI - E-Harmony is very popular in Cincinnati. That is where I was before I met my husband, but I am an original New Yorker. Unlike my respondants I am very street smart.

So unlike the respondant who continues to insult me and tell me that I am naive and don't know how to raise children get a life.  Yes I know twenty people who have found matches on e-harmony.  Maybe it works better in the midwest than it does in the Pacific northwest. 

I suggest unless you have anything intelligent to post get a life. Stop attacking me. I am just trying to let everyone know that Match.com is being targeted by Nigerian scam artists.

Insulting me or my family leaves me to believe that you all are employees of Match and are scared by my post....I feel sorry for you all.

I just hope people will not trust Match.com until they have a better screening process. FYI In order to get a paypal account you are screened because you are dealing with money and customers. Why can't Match institute a similar system.

...but am doubting your ability to see reality.

"I am sorry if some you do not believe me.  No my daughter did not send him any money.  How can my story be made up since I included a picture and his e-mail. I wonder why all these match people are all of a sudden posting? I think they are afraid and they don't want anyone to know what is going on."

No one is saying they don't believe you or that your story is made up. As a matter of fact, the most pitiful part of this report, may be that it IS true.. what we are saying is..do not depend on any website dating service to choose who is right or not for your daughter.

"Why are you guys being so mean and not understanding that there are creeps out there praying on young woman.  Since all your responses are combative it leads me to believe that you work for Match."

I hope you don't think I am being mean by giving sound advice. I feel the responses to your report have been to help PREVENT anyone who is praying on young women to pray on your daughter. If I worked for Match.com..would I have stated that the same scams are pulled on women on that site, as any other? You have every right to lodge a complaint against match.com...but when you use this complaint to promote others to trust E-harmony....you could be setting up young women....well all women and men to trust a web site and not their better judgment.

I have clearly left evidence that anyone can research which shows the Nigerian dating scams are being used on both these sites. AND...I have stated that couples have met and married on BOTH these sites...so why would you conclude from anything we posted that any of us work for match.com?

"When my daughter contacted Match they didn't do anything about the situation. They did not offer to help investigate the matter."

What are they supposed to do? They are not investigators...they ask questions and post peoples profiles. I wonder how many women post a picture of themselves from 10 years ago before they were fat....or lie about their true personalities...and men that lie about their incomes...or post deceptive pictures....what is it exactly that you expect a web dating site to do? Should they polygraph each applicant? Would you be willing to pay for a polygraph test of every person who was to contact your daughter? Or should you just use common sense and caution before dating someone?

In this case I agree with Robert...personal responsibility is the blame for dating the wrong person. In other words..would you blame the singles bar if your daughter met a scammer there?...or what if she met a low down nasty scammer at Church...would you blame the church if some guy who wanted to date your daughter asked for money because he claims he lost his wallet? How would a bar, or a church, or a dating site know a person is out to scam your daughter or anyone else for that matter?

"If you want me to call you and tell you more specific details please forward me your phone number.  I am offering this option because I am for real."

I do not need any more details thank you.

"Can any of you Match fans do the same...I don't think so."

I am not a fan or opposed to any dating websites. I just don't think it is wise to promote one over the other when both are equally susceptible to scam artists.

Or maybe YOU work for E-Harmony? I doubt that you do..but accusing me of working for match.com or being a fan of them is just as ludicrous.

This posting brings to light what I would consider the biggest issue in America today.  The poster seems to have absolutely no personal responsibility.  She states numerous issues, all of which could have been totally avoided if her or her daughter would have used common sense and had just a twinkle of personal responsibility.  People respond and try to inform her that other websites will require the same sort of logic and coherent thought that would be required on Match.com - but she brushes this off with statements that make it seem like she is expecting Match.com to control relationships as if they are actually producing suitors.  I see this as scary, very scary.  There are people like this in the world who take absolutely no responsibility for their own personal actions and decisions.  When things go wrong, they scan the crowd and look for someone to blame. 

How in the world did the poster ever find a husband to actually produce her daughter?  Considering the daughter is of dating age, I would have to assume that she found her husband before dating websites existed.  The same things she did to find her husband, verify who he is as a person, and pursue marriage - are the same skills she should have passed onto her daughter.  Judging from the post, I would have to assume that her daughter does not have the same skill set.

This is the same type of person who would post her address on her public Facebook page, then turn around and sue Facebook when someone shows up at her house.  For gods sake, for the worlds sake, take responsibility for your own actions and teach your daughter to do the same.  We can not raise our children to make random decisions without any sort of thought.  I find it repugnant to even imply that Match.com should be responsible for the posters daughters love life.

Lastly.... when you read this story and the posters other responses, ask yourself a few questions.

1)  Do you have twenty friends?
2)  Do you have twenty friends that are married?
3)  Do you have twenty friends that use E-harmony?
4)  Do you have twenty friends that are married and found their mate on E-harmony?

All of us are answering no to at least 2 of the questions, but the poster apparently lives in a place where everybody is dating through E-harmony.  I only know 1 person who I wouldn't even call a friend that once used E-harmony.  But 20?  Let alone 20 friends that not only use online dating, but specifically e-harmony, all of which subsequently married the person they found online?

I think you can see where I am going here.  The poster exaggerates situations, and likely exaggerated her story.  I am going to have to call her out and say it is more then likely that she is an employee for E-Harmony or a person who has a personal vendetta against Match.com.

I am sorry if some you do not believe me.  No my daughter did not send him any money.  How can my story be made up since I included a picture and his e-mail. I wonder why all these match people are all of a sudden posting? I think they are afraid and they don't want anyone to know what is going on.

Why are you guys being so mean and not understanding that there are creeps out there praying on young woman.  Since all your responses are combative it leads me to believe that you work for Match.

When my daughter contacted Match they didn't do anything about the situation. They did not offer to help investigate the matter.

If you want me to call you and tell you more specific details please forward me your phone number.  I am offering this option because I am for real.

Can any of you Match fans do the same...I don't think so. 

I know you wrote on match.com.  But IMO you are leaving the impression that EHarmony is safe and you can trust it because YOU had success.  While I think it is great that you had success, people have had success on other sites as well..Including match.  If you are going to leave the impression that EHarmony(or ANY dating site) is 100% safe, then you are not helping the people who are less than "street smart".

E-Harmony makes you fill out a 500 question questionnaire. That is what I was calling checks you out.

- Again..of those 500 questions you answered how many did they personally verify?  You could come up with a site that asked 5000 questions, but if you do no verification what good does it do?

Perhaps you would like to read what EHarmony says.  I bolded the part that may be of particular interest.

http://www.eharmony.com/safety/tips

3. Do Your Own Research As mentioned above, it is important to note that eHarmony does not perform background checks on its members. eHarmony does not perform criminal background checks on its users because there is no national database of criminal convictions in the United States and many crimes are never reported or prosecuted, so background checks would provide a false sense of security. It is important to use caution and common sense with every match received. It is also important to note that our optional identity verification service, which is powered by our partner RelyID, is not a background check. We rely on the honesty of our members when filling out our eHarmony Relationship Questionnaire to supply us with their date of birth, marital status, city and state of residence, occupation, educational background and a myriad of additional items. Regardless of the connection you feel with any of your matches, we encourage you to do your own research before meeting in person. This can be anything from typing your match's name into a search engine, contacting your state or local municipalities to obtain public information, or using a paid service to obtain a full background report. Above all else, use common sense. Pay attention to the details someone shares and if you find anything that doesn't seem to add up, follow your intuition and close the communication.

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Oh and before you go on about their ID verfication, the only thing you appear to do is enter your Name and Address(and of course a credit card). They then ask you questions of things that are PUBLICLY Available. So someone could easily use information obtained from Identity Theft to pretend to be someone.

Yes, go to consumer affairs website...94 pages of people scammed by e harmony. I guess they weren't caring too much about those customers?

You also might want to internet search Nigerian dating scams...guess what comes up?? E-harmony.

So what if they ask 500 questions?..a scam artist can lie on 10,000 questions.

The ONLY way to avoid a scam, is to use common sense...on ANY dating site.

Plenty of people have met and got married on both sites, and others. Plenty were scammed as well. A dating web site is just that...a "site" on the web. They can't really do much to screen anyone. The true screening process is really up to you. All ANY dating site does is give you the opportunity to chat with someone. Who that someone really is??? Some guy who lost his wallet and needs $6400 dollars? That guy needs a job, not a date.

I met the love of my life on Match.com and have been happily married for 5 years.  There are a lot of scams out there and you cannot blame anyone else for your encounter.  Don't trust what anyone says and meet them in person before you make a judgement.

By the way, you didn't say whether or not your daughter sent him the money.  If she did she got what she asked for, if not, your report is for naught except to push another dating site.  I think your whole story was made up just to promote this other site.  ROR should have redacted the other site.

Internet dating is for people who are not naive that I would agree with. But I know personally twenty people who have hooked up and got married on e-Harmony.  Do you?

If you think that this could not happen on other sites then you are very naive.  This is a very common scam that has been around since Internet Dating started.  It was even around before using other methods, like newpaper personals. 

You say that EHarmony is safe because they scan their members?  Oh really..and what information did you have to provide.  Did anyone from EHarmony call you to verify who you were?  Did anyone run a background check on you?  My guess is that the only thing you had to provide was a Credit Card, and you are thinking that is "safe" enough.  So in your mind a scammer would never do something like use a stolen credit card right?

Now, EHarmony seems to make you go through a lot more steps.  So a common scammer would probably skip them, and that COULD be seen as "safer".  However, if someone went through the effort to sign up, and get matched with a person with the attitude that "Oh EHarmony is safe".  The chances of them being able to scam that person is much greater. If I am correct EHarmony has also had these "free" weekends and promotions, just like any other site.

I used EHarmony as the example as that is the site you mentioned.  But this really applies to ANY Internet Dating site.  In that none of them can guarantee the person posting is who they say they are.  But it would also be true that not everyone one match(or similar sites) are trying to scam someone.  This is why no matter what site you use you need to use COMMON SENSE.

Match has a pretty good page on Dating Tips..INCLUDING safety. 

http://www.match.com/help/safetytips.aspx

Match.com doesn't screen its members. My daughter was setup with a man who pretended to be Jim Jones an Italian American from Seattle. He was really a Nigerian Scam artist who joined for the free three day membership and asked my daughter to contact him by instant messenger and e-mail his name is [email protected].  He sent her love letter but hardly ever talked to her on the phone until he went on a mad eup business trip to UK and then call trying to scam her out of $6400 saying he lost his wallet.  These scumbags need to be stopped.  If you are stupid enough to use Match then make sure your match is not on a temporary membership.  I have found in different chat rooms numerous scams using match.  These creeps are praying on religious people.  They use that BS quoting "God this and God that" to get you to believe them. You need to use E-Harmony at least they scan their members.  I meet my husband on e-harmony and we are married for 6 years now.  My daughter tried to contact Match.com but they didn't even care. Don't waste your money...it is a rip-off.  You need to use a dating service that is reputable.  Most of my friends met someone and got married on e-harmony.  It is a wonderful website.

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Match.com doesn't screen its members. My daughter was setup with a man who pretended to be Jim Jones an Italian American from Seattle. He was really a Nigerian Scam artist who joined for the free three day membership and asked my daughter to contact him by instant messenger and e-mail. His e-mail  name is [email protected].  He sent her love letters but hardly ever talked to her on the phone until he went on a made up business trip to UK and then called her  trying to scam her out of $6400 saying he lost his wallet.  These scumbags need to be stopped.  If you are stupid enough to use Match then make sure your match is not on a temporary membership.  I have found in different chat rooms numerous scams using match.  These creeps ( fake match members) are praying on religious people.  They use that BS quoting "God this and God that" to get you to believe them. You need to use E-Harmony at least they monitor their members.  I meet my husband on e-harmony and we are married for 6 years now.  My daughter tried to contact Match.com but they didn't even care. Don't waste your money...it is a rip-off.  You need to use a dating service that is reputable and cares who its members are.  Most of my friends met someone and got married on e-harmony.  It is a wonderful website.