Complaint Review: Paradise Canyon Vacation - Lethbridge Alberta

15-"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" or "50 ways to lose your members"

50 Ways to Leave your Lover or lose $10,000

Paradise Canyon Vacation campaign song

-performed by Dave Simon, Noel's right
hand man who sometimes uses his left.

The problem with traveling is
all inside your head
Noel said to me
The $10,000 answer is easy if you
Write out a cheque logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle
To be free of your timeshare membership
There must be fifty ways
To leave $10,000

Noel said it's really not my habit
To intrude with free gifts
for attending the 1 hour presentation
Furthermore, I hope my meaning
Won't be lost or misconstrued
that is why we ask you to bring
your spouse or a travel partner
But I'll repeat myself
"because that is what we do"
At the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways
To leave $10,000
Fifty ways to lose $10,000

[CHORUS:]
You Just slip out the back
door of the presentation, Jack
Make a new plan
go to a movie instead, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
hang up the phone when
Paradise Canyon Vacation calls
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
and bring your wallet with you
You don't need to discuss much
tell the salesman no
Just drop off the key, Lee
there are no free gifts to win
And get yourself free

Noel said it grieves me so
To see your wallet empty in such pain
I wish there was something I could do
like rip up your 20 year contract
To make you smile again
I said Noel I appreciate that
And would you please explain
About the fifty ways
To leave $10,000

Noel said why don't we both
Just attend a presentation tonight
And I believe in the morning
You'll begin to be conned
to see the light
And write out that cheque for $10,000
And then Noel kissed me
And I realized he probably was right
There must be fifty ways
To leave $10,000
Fifty ways to lose $10,000

......................................................................................................................................................


50 Ways to Leave your Lover, or to Lose your members

Paradise Canyon Vacation Campaign song

-performed by Dave Simon, Noel's right
hand man who sometimes uses his left.

The problem is all inside your service
and the $3,500 non refundable initial fee
I said to Noel
The $10,000 answer is listening if you
Ask them to Take out their cheque book logically
Id like to help you in your struggle
To scam callers, sorry To make a profit
There must be fifty ways
To lose your members
 
I told Noel its really not in
my job description
To advise or ask you to tell
members that the contract
is $40 t0 $60 a month for 20 years
Furthermore, I hope my meaning
Wont get me fired or written up
But Ill repeat myself
At the risk of being cool
There must be fifty ways
To lose your members
Fifty ways to lose your members

Just stab them in the back, Jack
Make a big scam, Stan
You dont need more employees, Roy
Just streamline your staff.
Make a big fuss, Gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just tack on a fee, Lee
And file for Chapter 11

I said to Noel it grieves me so
To see your empty presentations
I wish there was something I could do
To make you hire more tele marketers
Noel said I appreciate that
And would you please explain
About the fifty ways
 
I said why dont we both
Just review your company's motto tonight
And I believe in the morning
Youll begin to see the light
And then told Noel to treat
tele marketers with respect and give
them more than 1/4% commisssion
And Noel realized I probably was right
There must be fifty ways
To lose your members
Fifty ways to lose your members
 
Just stab them in the back, Jack
Make a big scam, Stan
You dont need more employees, Roy
Just streamline your staff.
Make a big fuss, Gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just tack on a fee, Lee
And file for Chapter 11