Complaint Review: Hilary Silver - Denver Colorado

Hilary Silver is a licensed social worker selling a program designed to help successful women, "Get the Love You Want" (Recently, the program had to change its name due to copyright infringement for Harville Hendrix' books and programs of the same name.) Hilary promises to help you find the love you want and deserve. For $9K-$12k (fees seem to vary) you receive access to online modules, three one on one sessions with a subcontracted therapist, a Facebook group, and a weekly group call with Hilary and all of her participants. She also provides an outsourced writer to edit your online dating profile. 

Buyer beware: Relationship and love coaching is a growing business in the category of "self-help". There are countless programs available for a variety of price points. You have other options, and you would do well to spend less money by choosing someone else.

The program is based on the dual premise of "shame shifting" (it's you're fault you're single and the sooner you accept responsibility the better your chances of finding love) and "the law of attraction" (if you repeat your wishes and desires again and again - they will be fulfilled.) The first is disproven as a psychological therapy modality (creating more harm than good) and the second is totally disproven as "magical thinking" and "quantum mysticism" (a.k.a quantum flapdoodle!) - GOOGLE IT!

I enrolled in Hilary's eight-week program in late December 2019. After a one hour conference call with Hilary, I agreed to pay the fee and enroll. I did not have access to the agenda, nor would she allow me to speak directly to any of the participants or graduates. All I had was her own good press and solicited reviews to evaluate the quality of the program. It was my belief that if I immersed myself in the program, I would be successful and find love. There are no other success metrics or benchmarks defined for this program.

The reality is that very few of her participants actually find love. An informal survey of the 130+ members of her alumnae group came up with just a couple of success stories. Hilary promptly deleted this survey. She also contracts someone who miraculously eliminates all of her bad reviews.  Of the 31 reviews on Trust Pilot, only one speaks of forming a long term relationship.  The four negative reviews were suppressed by Hilary. Ditto on Yelp (click on the "not recommended" to see the 3 negative Yelp reviews.)  

In my opinion, I graduated from the program and was no more prepared for the challenges of the dating world than I was when I enrolled. When I complained, I was offered more of the same ("go back to the modules" and an offer for an extra therapy session - or to spend more money and continue the program for another six months.) We all know that finding love takes time. We also know that we need to be in a good frame of mind and optimistic to embark on finding love.

You don't need to spend this kind of money to be subjected to Hilary's hubris (half naked photos with her spouse of twenty plus years and constant reminders from Hilary, "I am the BEST at this!"), or her abusive therapeutic style and unproven approach to finding love. There are other licensed therapists and relationship coaches who will provide loving guidance and practical tips for finding someone special to share your life.

Find one. Hire one. Don't