Father Of 4
Nowata,#2Consumer Comment
Sat, October 25, 2008
It is easy for someone who has not had the nightmare of DHS show up at your residents to assume that only guilty party's have cases opened. WRONG! At the age of 21 I had bought a house, very nice and very old. As my wife and I where moveing in we get a 'visitor'. 'Someone had reported to "DHS" that I was dealing drugs out of my house and both me and my wife were 'junkies'. Ok no problem I don't even take over-the-counter meds as a part of my religious beliefs. So when asked to take a drug test I said "Sure, when and where?" Without a doubt I passed. Also note the city police NEVER talked to me or my wife about this suspected drug trafficing. BUT!!!! DHS had seen a few things that concerned them about the welfare of our children. Namely the unpacked boxes and general disarray of the house. Remember we were moveing into the house, and had not spent 3 nights in the new home. After 2 years the case was closed. How did we finally get the case closed? We filed for devorce a week before. As soon as the judge heard that we filed she closed the case, 30 seconds into the 'reveiw hearing'. Now maybe this girl was to trusting of her husband, and if so I feel bad for her. But really if your married to someone you would not trust why the hell did you get married? Oklahoma is ranked number 2 in the nation for having children in foster care. Some people need to have thier children taken from them but not everyone. And Jessica WAY out there in Hawaii Oklahoma has a Kin-ship placement act. So that kids will not loose contact with the family. THIS HAPPENS FIRST! Then foster care. The only reason the grandmother could not get the kids was because she lives out of state. A court apointed lawyer is only granted to VERY low incomes so if you work no lawyer. And remember they work for the state and get paid no matter what so it's best not to use them anyway. And by the way.. As I'm typeing this I have just been informed of a 20 month old who, after being taken into DHS custody and placed into foster care, was mauled by a dog and has to have his top lip reattached to his face. He was in his 'new home' less then two hours. So answer me this? Who is going to take this baby away from the state for "FAILURE TO PROTECT"
Dani
Clive,#3Consumer Comment
Thu, July 31, 2008
'NOT ALL ABUSE LEAVES SCARS!' WRONG!!! All abuse leaves scars. The question is whether those scars are visable and/or effective.
Jessica
Wahiawa,#4Consumer Suggestion
Thu, July 31, 2008
You know, if you read that story and just believed IT WOULD still have holes. But I'm a thinker, and there are a few parts of that story that betray the reality of the situation. First of all, after the doctor explained to you what happened to your son's arm, you didn't leave your husband. You made a choice right there to keep your son in a situation that could very well bring him harm. You should have lost all parental rights to him right there. He was six weeks old, you were responsible for absolutely everything that happened to him, and who he came in contact with. He can't walk, he can't crawl, he can't talk. You are his only protection and you threw him to the dogs for a MAN. Second of all, despite how horrendous the first situation is, you allowed your son to be SHOOK almost to death, certainly to the point that he will never be able to have a "normal" life. Your husband may have committed the act, but you are just as guilty as if you had done it yourself. You left that poor child alone with him. You stayed with him. After that act, you should have not only lost custody of your child (so he could at least attempt to have a "normal" life) but all children you may have in the future..due to your pattern of ENDANGERING CHILDREN'S LIVES. The classic part is, you weren't satisfied with this drama...you decided to get pregnant again, by the same MAN. Hello? I love the part where you blame getting back together with him on others, and its not your fault! Nope, not you...because you are a victim. The lawyer should have told you that getting back together with the man who abused your son wasn't a good idea! Do you realize how absolutely insane that sounds? Of course they wouldn't give the children to your mother, or another relative. This level stupidity can't be contained in just one generation of the family tree. You mention as well that you moved from Oklahoma to South Carolina to escape the police (classic). Of course, the fact being that you just left Shaken Baby #1 that you profess to love and want to regain custody of back in OK, abandoned for Baby #2. I love the part where now you blame your legal difficulties on the fact that the state won't pay for your lawyer because your NEW husband makes too much money. Yes, thats how it works. The fact that you are married AGAIN, already is probably not going to work in your favor with the courts either. I don't think the fact that you are "Black and Puerto Rico" is playing into how this case evolved, although you certainly aren't doing alot to combat the negative stereo-types. I think that because you are 22 years old, with two children you've lost custody of for abuse, and another child (whose safety we should all pray for) and married twice is what is making them shake their heads. You notice the part of the story where despite all the beatings, pain and abuse her child endured, she never believed her husband could have done it, never left him, until she herself suffered the abuse. You know, even if I believed her story. If someone had threatened to take away one of my children because of a man even if I was convinced he was innocent I would leave him. Because my children are the most important thing in my life. Its sad these children had to be born to a mother without the same priorities. The part in your story where you claim people felt sorry for you and wanted to help until they read your file? Wrap your mind around that. The saddest part of the story is where you state you haven't even gone to visit these children. The children you state you want back. You say yourself that you don't know them, but instead of trying to correct that, you make up excuses. You say you can't go visit them because of your NEW BABY. Mmmhmm, I see. You have a third child, and that is the reason you can't even visit the two other children that were victimized in your care. I hope those children are with a good family now, and get all the love and hugs they can stand. But if they aren't, if they are in danger..or just happy, they only have one person to blame. You.
Joe
Austin,#5Consumer Comment
Thu, July 31, 2008
I am seeing the classic family violence syndrome here. For many reasons, one of the most important reasons being that if the breadwinner is put in jail, there would be a significant LOSS of income for the non-arrested partner which means they would have to go out and get a job or another job if their main one was just part-time! That seems to be the main reason that they don't report the no-good bum that abused the kids. The second is sex and what good is that when you have to be worried about what the dude is going to do to your children next --and maybe to YOU! I think the husband in this case also abused his wife psychologically. NOT ALL ABUSE LEAVES SCARS! I am wondering if he threatened to kill her family and hunt her down and harm her and the children if she ever left him. That might be the only reason I would stay with a scum like him if I was in this situation and it would be only until I could hide out in a shelter or something. The children SHOULD have been removed from this mess because the main responsibility of a mother is to TAKE CARE OF HER CHILDREN THE BEST WAY SHE CAN and STAYING WITH AN ABUSIVE BULLY WHO HURTS KIDS IS NOT IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILDREN! Home boy must have been one hot lover or one scary, intimidating dude! When you have children, your days of cute young THANG are OVER! You have to think of the safety and welfare of your children. I wonder if the children were sexually abused as well. How does a father just let his son lay in a crib with a broken arm and DOES NOTHING! That is not a father --that is a sperm donor! If I were the lady in this scenario, I would have a tubal ligation so that way I could have NO MORE CHILDREN! I am very glad that none of you people saw the dead bodies of beautiful little children who had been tortured, shaken, raped and mutilated by sadistic boyfriends and husbands of hootchie mommas who were completely unfit to care for their kids because they cared more about a steady paycheck and a hot piece of *** than they did their children.I remember the beautiful little boy lying dead in a quiet room off the ICU Unit in a Texas town after a horrendous sexual abuse because his mother wanted to turn tricks and offer her son in exchange for dope. I have never wept or prayed like that again and I hope I never have to. He was just a little boy. I saw the same child abuse stuff start to happen in my family but Texas Child Protective Services stepped in and saved the five children from an unfit mother and a sociopathic father. Every time I read a story like this, I think about the bloated young lady who had six kids, starting when she was 14 and she looked like a barrel with legs. She was trying to smoke her crack rock and was waiting outside a cheap nightclub frequented by undocumented immigrant workers. She was 21 and almost wearing a tank top and I have no idea where she got the repulsive Daisy Duke hot pants in size HUGE that showcased her cellulite, flab and other disgusting stuff that should have remained covered up. She couldn't understand why her kids couldn't open the cat food she left for them and she was going to get her boyfriend and father of three of her kids to have his gangsta friends kill whoever it was who got her kids taken away ---as soon as he gets out of the maximum security state prison. Man, I don't care what these people do to themselves, by themselves, JUST DON'T DRAG THE KIDS ALONG! In fact, if you are not mature enough to put your kids first and raise them so they can SUCCEED in this society and sacrifice a few things to help them get ahead, then YOU ARE NOT READY TO BE A PARENT! If you would not have kids, CPS would not take them! If you don't love your own children enough to protect them and care for them and put their interests BEFORE YOUR OWN, DON'T HAVE THE KIDS! You only get five years of welfare anyway and then they CUT YOU OFF and if you had them for child support money, you don't always get it! This lady had better GROW UP FAST and LEARN TO PUT THE CHILDREN FIRST! That means settle down, learn a job skill or do whatever you have to do to provide a secure, loving, abuse-free home for YOUR CHILDREN! It's called GROWING UP AND BEING A RESPONSIBLE PARENT.
Jimnok
Meeker,#6Consumer Suggestion
Thu, July 31, 2008
The problem here is, you people seem to feel like this girl is the one being wronged. It is the baby that has been abused. It doesn't matter who did the abusing, the baby was still abused. This is an example of how society today seems to be so self absorbed that everything must be about them. An example of this was, she had another child with this man!!! Whether she is the abuser, he is the abuser or both of them are the abusers, she had another child in that situation. Where is the thought in that? Also, how does someone not know what a fracture is but knows what a polygraph is??? Maybe more of you should remember Kelsey Smith-Briggs. She wasn't as lucky as these children!!!
me
atlanta,#7Author of original report
Fri, January 11, 2008
Rhea you are an idiot..and from the terminology you use it sounds like you work for DHS. You have obviously never been in my situation nor will you ever understand. Parents that have been there understand and offer words of advice. Do some more research. How many girls are molested by their fathers and the mother never knew?? or by priests even. When a wife goes to work and leaves her husband with his son/daughter your not trained to think "oh what if he abuses him". Who suspects a person who has never demonstrated any ounce of violence would be capable of child abuse. And with the arm fracture that you said I lost you at. First they said it was an arm fracture, then they said he had a bone disease and the last doctor said there never was a fracture. What is your reasoning for that Rhea??? Who's opinion would you have taken?? It's not my fault that I married a monster. And it's not my fault the DHS system in Oklahoma needs to be renovated and observed and quite a few people need to be fired. So do you think it's okay for case workers to be pathelogical liars??? Do you think it's okay for mom's to go years with out seeing their children?? Get a Life. You probably have no heart or common sense of everyday living. People who think one minded like you are the reason this world is so jacked up and lost.
Patrick
Pawleys Island,#8Consumer Suggestion
Fri, January 11, 2008
Rhea, apparently you didnt read her story very well. It does not seem to be her fault. She is a victim of this bad DHS system.
Rhea
Oklahoma CIty,#9Consumer Comment
Fri, January 11, 2008
You lost me when you said that your baby had a spiral fracture. Spiral fractures in infants and toddlers are almost always child abuse due to the fact that baby's bones are not completely formed and are pliable. It takes a lot of force to snap a baby's bone. Sorry, but you failed to protect your daughter from a heinous and shocking injury. Additionally, any google search on infant fractures would have given you the same info I just did. The first person I would suspect would be my partner. You did not protect your baby, you protected your boyfriend. It is all your own fault.
L.
OklahomaCounty,#10Consumer Comment
Tue, June 12, 2007
If you read The Adoptions and Safe Families Act of 1997 you'll know why DHS will NOT return your children to you. TheyWILL find a way to take your parenting rights away. Their rule is if the child is out of the home 15 of the past 22 months, they use that as REASON to adopt them. The problem is that when they meet their 'mean' adoption quota each year, they get Bonus Money. Oklahoma is one of 31 states that has received Bonus Money EVERY YEAR since 1997. In October 2005, DHS agencies were given more than $17 trillion dollars in Bonus Money for adoptions finalized in 2004. If a child is 'normal' they get $4,000. If the child is handicapped or a 'needs' child, they get $6,000. If the child is twelve or older, they get an additional $10,000. You should search for the case where DHS adopted ELEVEN children to one home. A neighbor found them living in cages while the adoptive parents were on an enjoyable, extended vacation. The neighbor reported her finding. The children were taken BACK into custody so they can be adopted AGAIN for another batch of Bonus Money. Figure it up. Eleven children X $4,000 = $44,000 the DHS agency got IF they were normal children. However, these children were 'needs' children, so they were given $66,000 of Bonus Money just for those ELEVEN children. When they're adopted the next time, some or all of them will be twelve or older so they'll get $16,000 for each of them. That's $176,000 just for those ELEVEN children. DHS adopted over 50,000 children last year. If you read the Adoptions and Safe Families Act of 1997, you'll see where the Bonus Money comes, UNLIMITED, from our Social Security Fund (OUR FICA Taxes). It's fraud, waste and abuse of federal funds. The Bush Administration extended the ASFA from 2002 through 2008. Then, he announced that our Social Security Fund would be BROKE by 2008. The ASFA also states that the courts get Bonus Money for SPEEDING ADOPTIONS. Lena, I'm so sorry to hear of your plight just to visit your children. Their worker will insist that the children remain in foster care and later, after your parenting rights have been taken away, they'll tell the judge that the kids are doing wonderful in the foster home and THEY will tell the judge to adopt them to the foster parents. It's so wrong to break a family apart but as long as DHS gets Bonus Money for destroying families, there will be no end. DHS agencies have interstate agreements between states but the agreements are NOT used. I believe that the reason they do NOT want you to visit your children is because if the children show affection to you, they'll have to give them EXTENDED Grief Therapy or drugs to alter their minds. They're probably alredy on psychiatric drugs. This foster parenting stuff if very abusive for children. Cases such as yours are going on all across the country. The Tulsa World and Oklahoman are both publishing reports about OKDHS abuse and neglect. It seems DHS agencies LOVE to place children with gay couples. You may want to send your story to Randy Ellis at the Oklahoman Newspaper ([email protected]). He's collecting stories. I saw a poster recently that showed an awful looking forest of tree stumps. Its caption was "DHS is building a Forest of Family Tree Stumps." A RALLY is scheduled in August 2007. It will be in Washington D.C. One lady is constructing quilt blocks showing the names of children who have been abused and/or neglected by DHS. They'll be displaying the quilts with children's names on it during the march. If you want to know more about the Rally, join CPS Reform Group at Yahoo. I don't have much of a suggestion that will help you. I just KNOW there are thousands of other parents fighting to get their children returned OR at least get visits. It's NOT happening. The day a child is taken into custody, the worker begins trying to find an adoptive home for the child. Children are being tortured by DHS and their contracting foster parents. If the trial court didn't take your parenting rights away, WHY don't they return your children? Ask the judge why your children haven't been returned to you. One thing I'd suggest is that you write to the state legislators at Lawton and ask that they rescind the Adoptions and Safe Families Act of 1997 to SAVE families AND safe children from ABUSE/NEGLECT by the Department of Human Services. DHS Workers are trained to lie and fabricate tales! It's totally unbelievable that the worker WANTS you to relinquish parenting rights to your children after the jurors wanted them returned to you. What's the point in having a trial if they're not going to use the juror's decision? Why don't they provide REUNIFICATION CLASSES for you since you won your case? BECAUSE, the worker says, they're doing wonderful in the foster/adoptive home. Sure! They give the foster/adoptive home from $750-$2,500 EACH MONTH for EACH child they're keeping for DHS. If they adopt the child, the adoptive home gets Adoption Assistance for each child until they're eighteen or twenty-two years old if they're still in school.