Complaint Review: RUSSELL CELLULAR - Battlefield Missouri

Ladies  and  Gentlemen,   and  Prospective  Victims:   My  name  is  Dr.  Herchel  E. Sawyer, Jr., and  I  live  in Grove,  OK.  I  am  age  63.   In the  late  Winter,  Early  Spring,  2009,  A  company I  had  never  heard  of  before,  was  busy  advertising   cellular  telephone  contracts  in  Grove, OK,  a  little  resort  community,   here  in  North East  Oklahoma.  In  the  Grove SUN  newspaper,  they  were  pushing  two  year  service  contracts  for, and/or   in  concert  with,   ALLTEL,  a   National cellular  service  provider.   ALLTEL  is    DEFUNCT  now.   And  that  is  relevant  to  my  RIP-OFF Report.   At  the  moment  I  was  seeking  a  reliable  agency  for  cell  service,   and  I thought I  wanted  to  go  the  contract  route,  rather  that  stay  with  the  Pre-Paid  plan   I  had with  Virgin  Mobile.   So,  one  snowy day,  I  drive  to   their  retail  store,  on  South  Main  Street,  and  walk  in  to  their  place.  I  sat  down at  a  desk,  and  speak  to  a  very  polite  lady,  who  hands  me  some  paperwork  to    complete,  and   I  take  5  or  6  minutes  to  do  this  paperwork.

After I  do  the  paperwork,   she  does  something  with  my  paperwork,  and  she   shows  me a cell  phone,  hereinafter  known  as  "handset".   It's  generic  looking  handset,   nothing  fancy  I assure  you.   The  lady  takes   FOUR  HUNDRED  of  my  dollars,   really,  four  hundred  and  change,   and   gives  me  a   NEW  (  I  guess  it  was  new...but  with  these   people,  who  knows ?)  handset. She gives  me  a  copy  of my  paperwork,  and  sends  me  on  my  merry  way.

I  immediately   attempt  to  use  my  new  cell  phone  ("handset"),   and  I  can't  get   service, so  I  drive   and   drive,  until  I   get  "bars"  which  indicate  that  maybe  I  am   getting  carrier signal.  So, I  pull  over  into  a  parking  lot,  and   dial a  number.    Then,   my  bars  go  away.

Being  a  bright  and  intuitive  man,  with  a  modicum  of  sense,   and  being   level-headed, I   take  my  automobile   in  the  opposite  direction,  which  is  North.   Again,  I  drive,  and  drive, and  I  get  no  bars.  No  carrier  signal.  

Now, I  know  that  there  is   ONE   (  and  exactly  ONE)  cell  tower  in  this  hick  town,  and  I   know  it  belongs  to   Mister  Verizon.   So,   with  the  astute mind  of   a   Big  City  college educated  middle-aged   Squire-about-Town,   I   head  in  the  direction  of  the  cell  tower, on  18th  street.   Shortly,  I  am   sitting,  in  my  vehicle,   parked   100  feet  from   the   tower.

And  guess  what?   That's  right !   NO   SIGNAL.  Now,  I   understand   what  is  what  with cell  equipment.    As  a matter  of  fact,   I  actually  know   everything  there  is  to know  about cell  equipment,  paging  equipment,   you  name  it,   if  it  has  to  do   with   RADIO  COMMON CARRIER  technology.....I  know  about  it.   There's  a  reason   why.   And  it  isn't  important right  exactly  now.

So, now,  as  I  said,   I'm  sitting  100  feet  from  the   cell   tower,  and  I  am  getting  no   signal.  I  mean,  not  a  bar.   Well,  Ladies  and   Gentlemen,    that  tells   one  thing:

I  have  to  get  to  the  proverbial  (  and  perhaps  literal)   bottom  of  this  conundrum.  You like  that  word,  "conundrum" ?    Thanks!   I  love   words.  ( If  you  run  into  a  word   you   don't  know,  I  think  there's  a  mini-dictionary   above  in  the  tool-bar....good luck)  

But  what  I  don't  love,   is  paying  out  the   ying-yang  for  a  service  that  I  do  not receive.   And  that  just  brings  me  to  the   core  issue:   I  had  been   RIPPED  OFF.

RIPPED  OFF,   BY   AN  OUTFIT  CALLED  "RUSSELL  CELLULAR".    Ever heard  of  Battlefield,  Missouri ?   Yeah....neither  had  I.   Until  then.   So  I  get  on  the   phone  (  I  mean,  my   VIRGIN  MOBILE  cell  phone  (handset)).    I  call   Russell  Cellular   at  their  BIG  TIME  Corporate  Office  in  the  thriving  metropolis  of   Battlefield,  MO,  Green  County,  Missouri.  I  ask  to  speak  to  some one  that  can  explain  what  in the  unmitigated  HELL  is  going  on  with   my   cell  service.

Next  thing  I  know,  I'm  in  my  car,  driving  back  and  forth  and  hither  and  yon,   trying to  get  a  signal.   Yes,  the  moron  at   RUSSELL  CELLULAR  is   actually   asking  me  to do  this.   And  I,  the  apparently  bigger  moron,   is   actually  doing this.  But,  only  for   a  moment.   

Then,  I  tell  the  guy,   "just  stop.  this  is  STUPID".  I  can  see  that  this  is  all   horse   feces,  so  I  tell  the guy  I'm  hanging  up,  and  I  go  over  to  the   Russell  Cellular store.   

I  am not   really  greeted  by  an  affectionate  and  respectful  bunch,  once  I  make  it   known  that   I  am   there  because  I've  been  RIPPED  OFF,   and  that   I  don't  appreciate being  RIPPED  OFF.  

Well,   she,  the  so-called  manager,    gets  on  the  phone  with  some   jerk-off  in  the tech  department,   tells  him   blah,  blah,  blah,  droning  on  and on,   what  can  we  do, what  the  heck   this,   and   what  the  heck  that,  and  they  don't  know,  and  they  don't   have  the  answers   and  it's   not  their  responsibility....WHAT ???????   Say  that  again ?
It's  not  your  responsibility?   I've  had  this  "handset"  for  two  days,  and  I  can't  make  a call  and  it's   not  your   problem ?

I  leave,  and  go  home,  and  I  get  on  the phone  with  RUSSELL  CELLULAR.   And this  time, they  play  the  badger  game.   You know,   they  toss  me  around  from   extension  to   extension,   from  this  guy  to  that  guy......and  nothing.

Next  day,  I  drive  back  to  the  retail  store,   and  now,  there's  a  new  manager.   And   this  manager  is  one  of  those   "  screw  with  me   at  your  own  risk"   types  of   people; you know,  like  she  perhaps  might  have  spent  her  formative  years   in  a   women's prison ?

I  get  nowhere,  but  kicked  out  of  the  store.   YES.   I  am  literally  kicked  out.   

And it  all  went  down  hill  from  there.   Here's  the  punch   line,  folks:   ALLTEL,  I  believe, was  acting  in  concert  with   RUSSELL  CELLULAR,  to   bilk,  defraud,   steal,   gouge,   and RIP  OFF  some  small  town  types.  Well,  I  ain't  no  small  town  kind  of a  guy.  I've  been baptized  by  FIRE.   The  steel  in  my  soul  has  been  tempered  by   BIG  TOWN  spit,  sweat, and  piss,  and   by  working  sometimes  18  hours  a  day   to  make  people  wealthy,  'cause that  was  my  job.  Making  them  rich.   But  don't  piss  down  my  back,  folks  and  then tell  me  it's   raining.

I   told  RUSSELL  CELLULAR  I  was  on  to their  little  scam.   I  wrote  to  agencies.   Nothing.

Lately  I  communicated   with   law  enforcement  agencies.  I  even  talked  to  the  Battlefield Police  department.   If  you  want  to  call  it  a   "department".   I  thought  they  were  going to  LAUGH  at  me.

I  wrote  to  State  Representative  Mister  Eric  "Mr.  Big"  Burlison.  Well,   Rep.  Burlison ignored   me  like  I  had   AIDS.   That  little  trip  cost  me  four  months  of  my  time.  I   then  talked  to  the  MISSOURI  STATE    SPEAKER  OF  THE  HOUSE.  Guess  what ?

NOTHING.  They  must  have  thought  I  had  a  Helluva  nerve,  to actually  bring  a   real   nuts  and  bolts  problem   to  their  doorstep.   Anyhow,  I'm  sure  they  were   just  too  busy   with  their  fish  and  goose  soiree',  to  help  a   fellow  citizen.

Now,  I  am  going  to  the  Department   of  Justice  in  D.C.,  Criminal  Divison.  We'll  see where  I  land  with  that  effort.

On  a   detective  thriller  note.....I  found  out  that   ALLTEL,   as  I was   being  sold that  "contract  that  never  was",   was  being  ABSORBED   by  Mister   Verizon....

You  see?   You  get  it ?   RUSSELL  CELLULAR  was   using   that   buy-out  as  a   smoke  screen   to   scam  us.   ALL  OF  US.   It  was  not  brilliant.   But,  it  did   keep  us  in   the  fog  long  enough   to   get  our  money.

RUSSELL  CELLULAR:   If  they  had  any  guts,   they  would  just   cut  the  crap, and  hold  up  armored  cars.   At least  I  could   half-way  respect  a   crook  with guts.    RUSSELL  CELLULAR:   We  will  get  you  yet.   You'll  see.


Thanks.