Complaint Review: St Jude Retreat - Amsterdam New York

 I am the author of this thread. Just thought I would update and let everybody know that she died of end stage liver disease caused by alcoholism. She certainly felt like treatment was effective. However, she was the only one.

She did quote what she learned often as rebuttal to criticisms regarding her addiction . Do not send your family here! It could literally be the death of them. She left a wonderful 9 year old son behind...

You're using the old trick of blaming the victim rather than the perpetrators of this scam! The sales people will say anything to sign up customers in order to earn their commissions. Once people pay, it's pretty much sink or swim if they don't get thrown out first on a trivial offence and lose all the money they paid. And it's all their own money because no insurance company will  pay for the substandard and inadequate treatment St. Jude retreats provides.

The problem is that St. Jude Retreats is unlicensed and doesn't have a single professional on staff. The co-founders operate the retreats as a very highly profitable business for themselves and their families.

Even if they wanted to help people, and perhaps they do, they don't have the necessary education or training to do so. Neither graduated high school and don't know what they're doing. And they don't have any professionals who could enable them to help people. You can get the same results by attending AA meetings, which are free, and save the many thousands of dollars that St. Judes costs.

Your response exaggerates the more obvious problem, lack of accountability. Just like an addict to blame others for the consequences earned from an out of control addiction. One has to take responsibility for ones own actions, and the consequences of those actions. Have some integrity and be the change. Quit finding reasons not too. When in a facility like this there is a lot of distress and vulnerability and room for errors in judgement. This it's why it is important that house rules exist and are enforced. Especially between males and females. This is why I want to get the word advice like the review or not, I have been in this position before and view these errors of the facility as critical for people to know when considering this facility. lastly, her decision to be unfaithful while at the facility was her decision. This in no way is my fault. Just a continuation of the bad decisions she was making leading up to her needing a treatment facility. Maybe one day she will get the help she needs because she wants it. This facility and its lack of structure is unbelievable.

 I hate to say it but you are a tad delusional buddy. Think what you want, but the reality is that there was a problem with your wife BEFORE she eve attended there. How do I know this?? First, she drank. And from the sound of it, she drank A LOT!! Happy people dont drink. UNHAPPY people do drink. After awhile it becomes addiction. But the main core of the problem that drove them to drink is STILL around. if you have graduated as you have suggested then even YOU know this.

Second, the first REAL chance she had she found someone else. This tells me that to her YOU are the problem. Oftimes WE dont see ourselves as the issue. We want to blame drugs or booze because its easier then admitting there might be something wrong with us. As a man you have a heavy burden. Many times the weight of that burden tends to make us block out the small stuff because to us, its not that important. But to the person with the drinking problem, its earth shattering.

Lastly...awful nice of you to blast the facility. As a graduate, you yourself KNOW that no amount of talking is going to make an addict accept sobriety. THEY have to want it. Be it from hitting rock bottom or just a quick epifany, the DESIRE has to be there to change. Youre blasting the facility for issues that THEY really have no control over. Ok so your wife found a playmate there. SHE is an adult. As an adult she has the RIGHT to make these types of choices. The treatment facility is not there to be a moral compass. Their job is to help get this person clean. But even they can only do so much.

Instead of wasting your energy attempting to place blame. Try instead to focus on YOUR part of the issue. Reguardless of what you think. There IS a issue between you and your wife. Spend your energies attempting to fix this. I understand you are upset and have every right to be upset. But I feel youre blasting the facility unfairly. THEY have not ripped you off. THEY have not scammed you. YOU know this is true. Accept YOUR part in all of this and go forward and fix it.

If you dont want her to be your ex-wife, then drop all that BS anger and HELP HER!!! Stop looking to a treatment facility to do YOUR job. Get your a*s out there and take care of that woman. YOU fell in love with HER and SHE with YOU. Obviosly because you got married. Spend your time REPAIRING your marrage instead of just placing blame on the people who are attempting to help her WHERE YOU CANNOT!!

You might try and take her someplace REALLY romantic. Drop the kids off with a sitter and take a week and go to a cabin. Get some ALONE time. Kids can and do put a strain on a marrage. Sometimes the best thing you can do is go someplace so the two of you can reconnect. And do your best to not fall for the baited traps she is going to toss at you. Dont lose your temper, dont argue. TALK!!!! Dont place blame. Dont name call. Dont villianize each other. Obviously you still love her. Now go and prove it TO HER!!!